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I'm kinda sad....
14 years ago
Just as the title says, I'm feeling a little down.
I just got back from Ann arbor MI. I was visiting Snapbat (don't know his FA name) and
jynxkitty for the week. I did have a lot of fun don't get me wrong, and I do know some of this is something like PCD. But It kinda set me thinking. I know there is someone, whom may read this, and wants nothing to do with me now and I understand. I made my choice. You deserve better.
But that's not all I was thinking about. I'm realizing out here in Bolingbrook Illinois that..well there is just nothing for me. I don't want to sound pessimistic, or something dumb like that. But right now, I do have a home. Almost no bills outside of what I choose to buy or, gas I use. I do have a job as well, although part time and not getting a ton of hours. I am doing something I enjoy, and that at some point I want to try going to collage for.
I'm skinny, fairly good looking, and not a complete re-re. I know that can get me places in the fandom. I could make 'friends' easily, and get shit for free, all going on sex and my looks. I have no real grounds to bitch if you look at it that way.
However..out here. I really don't have any friends. I have one or two non furry friends that I see every once and again, but it's not often. There is the local fur meet every month that I go to, and that's almost always a blast. there are people I see and talk to, and there "friends" if you can call them that. But I see almost no one outside of that bowling meet, and that honestly sucks. Yes I did just get back from a trip to a furries house and visited them for a week. however, that will be very rare. I'm just kinda tired of my weekly routine, work, play MH, and sleep. Maybe see one of those non fur friends of they stop by. My town blows for meeting new people, and I'd say about 90% of the 'local' furs that go to the meet all live a fairly good distance away, to the point where outside of a weekend long visit, or a week long visit, it's just not justifiable gas and money wise.
What does all this mean? I've decided, I want to really buckle down, and save up for a half decent car. and start saving and getting ready to move. I don't know where and none of this will be happening soon. but I want to move. I'm tired of Bolingbrook, I'm tired of my shitty friends, and lack of options to hang out with people. And just my sucky position of where I am. I'm in no place to make any of these changes, probably not till next year or even the year after. But I'm more motivated now. I'm realizing that I need to make some improvements. I need to treat the people I meet better. And stop acting so selfish.
I just got back from Ann arbor MI. I was visiting Snapbat (don't know his FA name) and
jynxkitty for the week. I did have a lot of fun don't get me wrong, and I do know some of this is something like PCD. But It kinda set me thinking. I know there is someone, whom may read this, and wants nothing to do with me now and I understand. I made my choice. You deserve better.But that's not all I was thinking about. I'm realizing out here in Bolingbrook Illinois that..well there is just nothing for me. I don't want to sound pessimistic, or something dumb like that. But right now, I do have a home. Almost no bills outside of what I choose to buy or, gas I use. I do have a job as well, although part time and not getting a ton of hours. I am doing something I enjoy, and that at some point I want to try going to collage for.
I'm skinny, fairly good looking, and not a complete re-re. I know that can get me places in the fandom. I could make 'friends' easily, and get shit for free, all going on sex and my looks. I have no real grounds to bitch if you look at it that way.
However..out here. I really don't have any friends. I have one or two non furry friends that I see every once and again, but it's not often. There is the local fur meet every month that I go to, and that's almost always a blast. there are people I see and talk to, and there "friends" if you can call them that. But I see almost no one outside of that bowling meet, and that honestly sucks. Yes I did just get back from a trip to a furries house and visited them for a week. however, that will be very rare. I'm just kinda tired of my weekly routine, work, play MH, and sleep. Maybe see one of those non fur friends of they stop by. My town blows for meeting new people, and I'd say about 90% of the 'local' furs that go to the meet all live a fairly good distance away, to the point where outside of a weekend long visit, or a week long visit, it's just not justifiable gas and money wise.
What does all this mean? I've decided, I want to really buckle down, and save up for a half decent car. and start saving and getting ready to move. I don't know where and none of this will be happening soon. but I want to move. I'm tired of Bolingbrook, I'm tired of my shitty friends, and lack of options to hang out with people. And just my sucky position of where I am. I'm in no place to make any of these changes, probably not till next year or even the year after. But I'm more motivated now. I'm realizing that I need to make some improvements. I need to treat the people I meet better. And stop acting so selfish.
No matter where you go, however, I still respect you. You're a pretty cool person, even though we came across each other a few times at fur cons.
I didn't know you played MH either!
Aside from that I totally know how you feel. Not reall much is here where I live, and to be honest have no friends either due to having to stop being friends with them. Sure I have good friends online, but they live so far away that's its not like its easy to visit.
I think your doing the right thing to save up and move. Just stay strong!
And it would be too far for me unfortunately.