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Calling something a meme makes it the opposite of one.
14 years ago
001. One of your scars, how did you get it?
A faded shape resembling the pupil of a goat's eye. I got it by colliding with a charcoal grill during a birthday party.
002. What is on the walls in your room?
Cracks and white paint.
003. Do you snore, grind your teeth, or talk in your sleep?
Yes, I grind my teeth.
004. What type of music do you listen to?
Quality music that doesn't offend my ears.
005. Do you know what time you were born?
Yes.
006. What do you want more than anything right now?
007. What do you miss?
Youth's naive simplicity.
008. What is your most prized possession(s)?
My laptop
009. How tall are you?
5'8" / 172.78 cm
010. Do you get claustrophobic?
No.
011. Do you get scared in the dark?
No.
012. The last person to make you cry?
I can't remember.
013. What's your worst fear?
Oblivion.
014. What kind of hair/eye color do you like on the opposite/same sex?
Eyes are the only must have.
015. Where can you see yourself proposing?
In an impromptu fantasy tinged by a moldering wind upon wistful fantasy.
016. Coffee or energy drink?
Coffee.
017. Favorite pizza topping?
Mushrooms.
018. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
Lobster florentine with a side of spiced seasame pork.
019. Favorite color of all time?
Green.
020. Have you ever eaten a goldfish?
Possibly. I live in Crazyland and have eaten at a "Chinese restaurant."
021. What was the first meaningful gift you've ever received?
Life.
022. Do you have a crush?
<racism>I'm not white, thirteen, nor girly enough for this question.</racism>
023. Are you double jointed?
No.
024. Favorite clothing brand?
<pretentiousness>I'm not insipid enough for this question.</pretentiousness>
(The following five questions were withheld for tax purposes.)
030. Say a number from one to a hundred:
Seventy-two.
031. Blonds or brunettes?
There's a difference?
032. Favorite quote?
The one I have listed, seriously.
033. Favorite place?
Niagara Falls (Ontario, Canada & New York, U.S.A.)
034. Have you been out of the USA?
Yes, I have lived outside of Crazyland.
035. Your weaknesses?
Bullets, sharp objects, my joints, naivety, poisons.
036. Met anyone famous?
A previous US President, several previous governors, and a celebrity musician.
037. First job?
Volunteer with the Red Cross.
038. Ever done a prank call?
Yes.
039. Do you think everyone out there has a soul mate?
<atheist>I'm Catholic, I don't believe in the god.</atheist>
040. What were you doing before you filled this out?
Playing Chinese Ancient History Japan Revisionist Edition Five, for the buttsex-box
041. Have you ever had surgery?
Yes.
b042. What do you get complimented about most?
My hair, which surprises me.
043. Have you ever had braces?
No, I had a spacer though.
044. What do you want for your birthday?
See question #006.
045. How many kids do you want and their names?
Normally I'd take a question like this out of context and make a kidnapping joke about it. I just don't feel like it right now.
046. Were you named after anyone?
No.
047. What is the biggest turn off of the opposite/same sex?
It's a tie between an annoying voice and substance abuse.
048. What is one thing you like(d) about high school?
The illusion of freedom to achieve greatness without effort.
049. What kind of shampoo do you use?
Cheaper brands that have been proven to work without damaging my hair severely.
050. Do you like your handwriting?
Yes, but it could be better.
051. What is your favorite lunch meat?
If by lunch meat you mean a packaged and compressed disk of meat, found in shopping centers in a cooler shrink wrapped in plastic, where the flavor is salt and salt alone. Then I am against it.
But if by lunch meat, you mean thinly sliced meat from the flank of an animal that was raised and groomed for slaughter and consumption, then I prefer hickory smoked ham.
052. Any bad habits?
Of course.
053. Are you a jealous person?
Depends on what I am to be jealous of.
054. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Nihilism is pointless.
055. Do you agree with friends with benefits?
If by whiskey...
056. Do looks matter?
Can you imagine a world where they don't?
057. How do you release anger?
Ideally: through constructive means. Usually: I don't.
058. Would you rather gain 58 pounds or lose 58 pounds?
It would be healthier for me to gain that weight.
060. What was your favorite toy as a child?
A stuffed Bengal tiger doll.
061. How many numbers are in your cell phone?
062. Were you a fan of Barney as a little kid?
No.
063. Do you use sarcasm?
No, I've never even heard of such a word.
064. Mashed potatoes or macaroni and cheese?
Macaroni and Cheese.
065. What do you look for in a guy/girl?
Literally: Organs, bones, a circulatory system. Figuratively: Whit, charm. <douche>Hur hur my penis.</douche>
066. What are your nicknames?
Mall. Pronounced "M 'ALL"
067. Favorite super power?
Omniscience.
068. What's your favorite TV show?
I don't watch television.
069. What's the best way to deal with your enemies?
I subscribe to two schools of thought on the matter: Eliminate them completely or make them completely inconsequential.
070. What's your favorite ice cream flavor?
French Vanilla
071. Do you have all your fingers and toes?
Yes.
072. Do you have a computer in your room?
Are... are you scouting out my home? I'm armed...
073. Plans for tonight?
Always have a plan, even tentative ones.
074. Where do you want to live when you are older?
Some place that will make my eventual arthritis and failing organs less problematic.
075. Do you want everyone to answer these questions?
See question #044
076. What are you listening to?
Everything that I cannot ignore. If you mean the last song I was listening to, I believe it was Montreal -90C
077. Last thing you drank?
A green plastic bottle filled with high fructose corn syrup and painful regret.
078. Last person you talked to on the phone?
My father.
079. The first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
Whatever stands out the most, cause I really don't know.
080. What do you like to do in your spare time?
My hobbies are as varied as they are impractical.
081. Favorite thing to hate?
That's a tough question, because I cannot think of anything I hate that I would be remorseful to see utterly destroyed.
082. Favorite season of the year?
Winter.
083. What's your favorite type of candy?
Butterscotch and caramel hard candies.
084. Have you ever really and truly had a best friend?
No, I don't feel I have.
085. What is your hair color?
Black.
086. Eye color?
Brown.
087. Shoe size?
US 10.5 / UK 44 2/3. Is this some kind of foot fetish question? I don't really want to know, but this just seems out of place.
088. Favorite fast food place?
Chinese buffets.
089. Favorite restaurant?
In Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada there is a small diner with a brown roof and false wooden walls with red letters on it that I don't remember the name of where I had the best bacon, eggs, French toast, and coffee. The coffee was perfect just black.
090. Do you like sushi?
If by sushi... nah I'm not doing that joke again. Yes.
091. Watch TV today?
I have not actively watched a television, nor turned one on to watch television shows for eight years.
092. Favorite day of the year?
I'm partial to December eighth. No real reason.
093. Play any musical instruments?
Once upon a time.. lost to the ages.. fallen through the cracks.. a trumpet and guitar silently weep, waxing upon nihilistic could haves, would haves, and wants.
094. Republican or democrat?
The correct answer is no. Also you're assuming I'm from the USA. But if you must know, I lean towards anarchy being a means to an impossible perfect end.
095. Kisses or hugs?
I prefer hugs.
096. Relationships or one night stands?
See question #055
097. What was the last thing you bought?
See question #077
098. Would you ever be a housewife?
Nothing is impossible. Just improbable, doubtful, remote, slight, faint, not likely, unimaginable, and unlikely.
099. What book are you reading?
I have a list it's too long for this.
100. Final random fact about me:
My favorite fast food is scrambled eggs with shredded cheddar.