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Which HELL do you prefer?
14 years ago
Well, after some delightful reading on AOL news about how a computer program is identifying quirks and such from the various authors of the "Bible".... I thought of an interesting question!
Which Hell do you prefer? There are 2 versions you know... the original version, and the news and improved HOT HOT HOT version!
New version: Fiery pit of doom where you burn and are punished by sadistic little imp demons for all eternity.. Or, if you're a robot, you gotta deal with an UNENDING JAZZ NUMBER AND HEARING THE WORD 'IRONIC' MISUSED ALL THE DAMN TIME!
Old version: Extremely cold and dark place, that got colder and colder the deeper you went because you were no longer "near the warm light of god"...
So who do we blame for this new version? Whoever the hell wrote DANTE'S INFERNO (I forget his name and can't be bothered to look it up right now)... It was SO fear-inspiring it was adopted as the New Official Hell by the Vatican! I imagine it went something like this....
"Pope: Hey there folks! Tired of you cold, dank and dark hell? Looking for something new, improved? Maybe a little bit more WARMER!? Well come on down to the New and Improved HELL! That's right, for absolutely nothing we will guarantee you a life of burning pain and misery where you're tortured for ALL ETERNITY! Yes that's right folks, this swanky, jazzy place could be YOURS! Just sin a bit and don't listen to us and you can be moved in immediately after your time of death! New Hell brought to you by Dante's Inferno, sponsored by The Vatican!
Kids: YAAAY! OW ITS HOT!!!!
(random priest) all children were especially hurt and sodomized by sharp thorny demons for the making of this commercial."
Which Hell do you prefer? There are 2 versions you know... the original version, and the news and improved HOT HOT HOT version!
New version: Fiery pit of doom where you burn and are punished by sadistic little imp demons for all eternity.. Or, if you're a robot, you gotta deal with an UNENDING JAZZ NUMBER AND HEARING THE WORD 'IRONIC' MISUSED ALL THE DAMN TIME!
Old version: Extremely cold and dark place, that got colder and colder the deeper you went because you were no longer "near the warm light of god"...
So who do we blame for this new version? Whoever the hell wrote DANTE'S INFERNO (I forget his name and can't be bothered to look it up right now)... It was SO fear-inspiring it was adopted as the New Official Hell by the Vatican! I imagine it went something like this....
"Pope: Hey there folks! Tired of you cold, dank and dark hell? Looking for something new, improved? Maybe a little bit more WARMER!? Well come on down to the New and Improved HELL! That's right, for absolutely nothing we will guarantee you a life of burning pain and misery where you're tortured for ALL ETERNITY! Yes that's right folks, this swanky, jazzy place could be YOURS! Just sin a bit and don't listen to us and you can be moved in immediately after your time of death! New Hell brought to you by Dante's Inferno, sponsored by The Vatican!
Kids: YAAAY! OW ITS HOT!!!!
(random priest) all children were especially hurt and sodomized by sharp thorny demons for the making of this commercial."
I need to get away from all the retro tards x: