Hey everyone who stumbles across this!

So, here's something that's been going on with me. So I'm a Christian. And not just like I grew up that way only, or like I was baptized once - no, I mean that I really believe in the whole thing, and I even went to a bible college, and volunteer working with youth groups, and teach bible studies every once in a while.

So, along with all that, I always thought that being gay or bi or anything other than black and white STRAIGHT was bad. Aaaaand, that meant that I kinda talked trash about gay people, too. I had a gay roommate once, and I didn't like him. I have a gay cousin, and I don't like him either. The fun thing is that all this animosity towards homosexuals certainly has something to do with my having loads of gay experieneces with a certain cousing (not the one I just mentioned) when I was young. And I felt super guilty about it... Honestly, it was a mess, and I think that helped fuel my animosity towards homosexuals even more.

Now fast forward to today. Over the last year, I've had several very deep and enlightening conversations with some of my friends from bible college. I feel like God has been leading me to challenge these attitudes of the past, and to see my own hypocrisy, and how He calls us to love each other... And I haven't been doing that at ALL. *sigh*

I recently read an article that explores what the bible DOES say about homosexuality - it's very interesting: http://www.soulforce.org/article/ho.....-gay-christian. Apparently, it says nothing. After reading that, I did a little research into the Greek words translated as "homosexuals", and found that this is ANYTHING but clear! A lot of hate and hurt have been championed by the church... That's something were all too good at...

So, this brings me to why Im writing all of this. Honestly, I don't understand homosexuality, or bisexuality, or sexuality in general. The one thing I'm certain of is that I haven't acted with love in the past... And I know there are LOTS of Christians out there who fail in the same way. I want to say that I've been wrong, and that the church DOESN'T represent the heart of Christ in this matter very well at all. And I'm sorry for that. My hope that just as I think God has shown me how my attitudes don't reflect His, that the same might be happening elsewhere in the church as well. I hope so. Jesus so clearly told us that the whole law of God can be summed up with Love God with all you are, and love your neighbor... I've failed at that, and I'm sorry.

The other thing I wanted to do here was open myself up, in case you want to yell at a Christian, take out some grievance or hurt, or ask questions or anything.