ok it worked... thanks.

NOW LISTEN TO MY VENT DAMMIT!!!

today at work i finally think i got pushed to the edge of going sane, i actually questioned what the fuck i was doing.

not at work, but in life.
i mean sure i wanna go back to college and get my EXP.
but what the fuck am i doing now,
oh yeah thats right, drawing art that im damn proud of and many dont give two shits about, well fuck off you!
my family sucks, except one aunt, she understands me at least to a point. but FUCK my family, they all do this "you have so much more potential." crap..... I LIKE DRAWING , GO FUCK YOURSELF!
if i get paid for something i draw ill go to them and throw it in their face,
saying (and i will say this) "fuck you, and your fucking expectations, ill do what i like and what works for my life. "
i was always an ADHD child, and craved attention, that tiny inkling of being recognized as a living thing.
i got in trouble a lot if it meant that someone would give a shit about me or what i did.
and customers dont even realize im there, like 12 people, (no fucking lie) just walked right into me,
AND KEPT GOING LIKE NOTHING!
i tell them "have a nice night sir" when they leave a theater, they look at me and keep walking like im unimportant.
i draw because i like it
i draw because i want to get better
i draw because i want someone to see a accomplishment of mine. that im very happy for,
i draw porn because the above doesnt happen.
i mean ive played Second life for going on 4 years, and i was/am SL whore in game.
if someone in game happens to give me attention for something else i happen to be DAMN good at even for 3-15 minutes i feel so much better.

one of the reasons quantum theroy says we are alive is because we are recognized and acknowledged as being there by another. thus we are.


and i swear to God if i see any of this TL;DR shit imma rip a throat and block you.

I am alive and i dont wanna have to pull a Sinistar "Beware I Live" shit to get you to see me.