Tis the season to be jolly, yea, right. I'm not really feeling it, but it is to be expected. This time of year seems normal for me to feel the sting of the old Humbug. Stressing out over getting art done, that's not good. Trying to shop to get stuff for folks and coming up short, not also good. The little Christmas twig which I call a tree was not decorated yet, it sits bare on the coffee table. Something still drives me to keep on and not take the chicken way out, oh well so be it. I find myself trying to spread the cheer, embrace the stranger and tell them things are alright yet I have only myself to console and I do a real crappy job at it. Each year about this time I sit and try and re-evaluate what friends are for and what they mean and each year I find myself distancing myself from those who seem willing to befriend me for fear of souring up the relationship. Speaking of which, the one between me and my girlfriend is slowly growing sour. I try to make her happy and I wind up making things worse. I can't leave because in some way she needs me, if not as a lover, as someone to help her and her pets. At this point I will wind up just being the servant than just a partner but enough of that.

This is just a phase I go through each year so if anyone is reading this, don't worry. I'll get through this, I always do. I will finish what I promise, even if it is a tad late. Perhaps looking forward to the next year may make me feel better. I will try and continue to help, offer a kind word, a critique or two if it is within my power to do so, it is all one person can do. Thanks and Cheers.