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Mrs. Claus
18 years ago
General
Okay, so I'm 4 hours late due to technical problems, and being invited out to see AVP:Requiem. (cool flick, btw.)
Anywho, Merry Holidays of Relevance and all that pc jazz.
This bbw Mrs. Claus was sparked by Todd MacFarlane.
Well, it's like this:
Ol' Toddy M puts out kick-ass toys. (I like 'em better than Spawn, at any rate), but I was kinda honked off by his Twisted X-Mas line.
Oh, they were fine toys and all, but, well...
Okay, the icons of the holiday,: Santa, Rudolph, Jack Frost, Mrs. Claus, The elves, and I think I saw Frosty in there.
Each one is a horrendous murderous monster, right?
They come in clamshell packaging with a sweet cartoon mugshot of what the 'normal' versions look like. Inside the packs, though are the evil versions.
Frosty's a deranged snowcreature with multiple pointy stick limbs. Jack Frost looks even meaner.
Rudolph's a mutant deer man with a huge maw and his reins frankly look like fetish gear.
The elves are a trio of hunched, blade-weilding psychos and the Fat Man himself is a grizzled, gas mask wearing nutjob with Freddy Kreuger's claws on BOTH hands.
This is what irks me... Mrs. Claus?
Is she a gnarled sea hag in red and white garb? No.
A demented witch casting evil holiday spells? No.
Is she even a withered granny with an army of carnivorous gingerbread men? Hell no.
Apparently, "Monster" Mrs. Claus is an scrawny stripper grinding on a candy cane pole! That's what makes her "twisted"?
Whatever.
Mind you, what spawned this is not the absence of the EVIL in Mrs. C, so much as the absence of, well, BODY.
Mrs. Claus, good or "twisted" is not an anorexic, 19 year old sex worker in MY mind, so, I made my own Mrs. Claus. Not so much "twisted" or evil, but what I would make of her if it were up to me to re-imagine her.
She's a partially immortal (you get that when you marry Santa) kitchen-witch with a love of the aforementioned gingerbread cookies, semi-gothy, fetishy fashions and a penchant for getting into trouble when St. Nick's not around (which is surprisingly often, considering how much prep is involved with delivering gifts to the whole world in one night.)
I imagine Mrs. Claus (ne' Zaria Holly) to run around the world with her own elven assistants, solvin' mysteries and fighting Jack Frost, Malcolm Scrooge (Ebeneezer's Great Great Grandson) and even Santa's ex wife, Marian, the First Mrs. Claus.
Using her magicks and her surprising naughtyness to win the day.
But then, I get a little twisted around Christmas myself. Knowing me, I will start a comic about her.
(Another log on the fire of my brain, I guess.)
Anywho, Merry Holidays of Relevance and all that pc jazz.
This bbw Mrs. Claus was sparked by Todd MacFarlane.
Well, it's like this:
Ol' Toddy M puts out kick-ass toys. (I like 'em better than Spawn, at any rate), but I was kinda honked off by his Twisted X-Mas line.
Oh, they were fine toys and all, but, well...
Okay, the icons of the holiday,: Santa, Rudolph, Jack Frost, Mrs. Claus, The elves, and I think I saw Frosty in there.
Each one is a horrendous murderous monster, right?
They come in clamshell packaging with a sweet cartoon mugshot of what the 'normal' versions look like. Inside the packs, though are the evil versions.
Frosty's a deranged snowcreature with multiple pointy stick limbs. Jack Frost looks even meaner.
Rudolph's a mutant deer man with a huge maw and his reins frankly look like fetish gear.
The elves are a trio of hunched, blade-weilding psychos and the Fat Man himself is a grizzled, gas mask wearing nutjob with Freddy Kreuger's claws on BOTH hands.
This is what irks me... Mrs. Claus?
Is she a gnarled sea hag in red and white garb? No.
A demented witch casting evil holiday spells? No.
Is she even a withered granny with an army of carnivorous gingerbread men? Hell no.
Apparently, "Monster" Mrs. Claus is an scrawny stripper grinding on a candy cane pole! That's what makes her "twisted"?
Whatever.
Mind you, what spawned this is not the absence of the EVIL in Mrs. C, so much as the absence of, well, BODY.
Mrs. Claus, good or "twisted" is not an anorexic, 19 year old sex worker in MY mind, so, I made my own Mrs. Claus. Not so much "twisted" or evil, but what I would make of her if it were up to me to re-imagine her.
She's a partially immortal (you get that when you marry Santa) kitchen-witch with a love of the aforementioned gingerbread cookies, semi-gothy, fetishy fashions and a penchant for getting into trouble when St. Nick's not around (which is surprisingly often, considering how much prep is involved with delivering gifts to the whole world in one night.)
I imagine Mrs. Claus (ne' Zaria Holly) to run around the world with her own elven assistants, solvin' mysteries and fighting Jack Frost, Malcolm Scrooge (Ebeneezer's Great Great Grandson) and even Santa's ex wife, Marian, the First Mrs. Claus.
Using her magicks and her surprising naughtyness to win the day.
But then, I get a little twisted around Christmas myself. Knowing me, I will start a comic about her.
(Another log on the fire of my brain, I guess.)
I don't think the moniker 'twisted' is really meant, so much as 'Todd McFarlen's vision of'. And if you look at the Spawn series, yes. The men are horrible monsters or slick, sleazy business suits... but the women. The women are always 8-10s. The man doesn't stylize women, I guess.