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Lawnmower Man 2 is a Horrible Horrible Movie
14 years ago
General
I dunno why, but I like to watch shitty movies. I mean really shitty movies. I think maybe the reason is the time and effort that goes into so some of them amazes me. After all that work and everyone sits down and watches the end result, how can any of them say that its a good movie.
Lawnmower Man 2 made in 1996; oh my god, sooo bad. I didn't even know this piece of shit existed until like an hour and half ago. The first Lawnmower Man blew my mind when I first saw it as a little kid. It really was one my first glimpses of computer animation back then. The only thing Lawnmower Man 2 blew was chunks. First of all like all shit sequels that have nothing to do with the first movie, they couldn't get anyone from the first movie to take a dump in the communal bucket of waste called Lawnmower Man 2. I mean why would you? The first movie pretty much wrapped everything up in the end. Spoiler alert! Just in case you have been living under a rock for the past 19 years Anyway the building blows up and Jobe sneaks out into cyberspace in the virtual body or whatever. Lawnmower Man 2 comes along and is oh look we found Jobe and we made him all better. So that sneaking out in cyberspace thing didn't count for anything I guess. So hmm how are they going to use Jobe if the guy that played Jobe in the first film is not in it! Oh they reconstructed his face and chopped off his legs to save his life cause he was so badly burned. Well thats convenient. Now guess who they got to play Jobe? Fucking Max Headroom. Yes, Max fucking Headroom. Now I may be showing my age but the actor that portrays Jobe, a computer animated madman, also played a ummm computer animated madman in the 80s. So I guess they got the right virtual man for the job.
Not quite, this guy does not portray the original Jobe at all. He just acts like a crackhead ripoff Jim Carry. So this computer company makes Max Headroom build the crappy virtual library looking thing that they want everyone to "jack in" to so they can secretly collect everyone's information in the entire world. Now I know where Facebook got their idea. Meanwhile there are these kids that look like the kids from the Newsies that jack off, I mean jack into this virtual game thing where Max Headroom tells them to get the guy who invented virtual reality to help him unlock this chip that hes using to build the virtual library land. So the Newsies listen to Max Headroom and find the guy and he looks like a hippie ripoff Dr. Alan Grant from Jurassic Park.
Later Dr. Alan Grant tells Max Headroom to piss off. Max Headroom then tries to kill them by electronically derailing a subway car. Yeah this is some real high tech shit let me tell you. So anyway Dr. Alan Grant and the newsies break in the headquarters and steal the chip but turns out it was a fake. Then Max Headroom tries to kill them again by electronically crashing a helicopter into Dr. Alan Grant's house. Then the totally pointless online virtual library goes on line and everybody jacks off, I mean, IN, IN. Cause Max Headroom is making all the electronic devices go wacky in the real world and this causes people to login to cyberspace I guess, I dunno. Then Dr. Grant and the newsies break in again to the headquarters and jack IN to fight Max Headroom.
Now the grand finale its Dr. Grant vs. Headroom in virtual reality! This is going to be an awesome battle with some high tech stuff! Wait no. They use swords. Fucking swords in cyberspace. No lasers or even lightsabers. Nope, just swords. So they have an awkward sword fight that looks like it was choreographed by 5 year old. Then someone yanks the chip and the whole virtual world falls apart. Then Max Headroom turns back into an idiot again in the real world. Well at least he can be a lawnmower man again, oh wait no, he doesn't have legs anymore and everybody is happy in the end for some reason or another.
I really hated this movie from start to finish. It was like taking Max Headroom, Newsies, Jurassic Park and stuffing it into the movie set of Blade Runner. Even the soundtrack sounded like it was from Jurassic Park. I also hate the over use of kids in a movie. There was like a whole gang of kids for no reason and the movie tried to build the character of each kid which is totally pointless cause each kid like only has 5 seconds of doing something in the movie. I don't care if the fat kid is the inventor kid or whatever just make him go away. The only things I did like out of this movie was knowing the fact that Max Headroom was so hard up for money that he contributed to this pile of dog vomit, there was a DeLorean driving down the road in one of the scenes and the device they put on their head to jack off was called an "eye phone". It was just so creepy hearing someone from 1996 say iPhone. So yeah, there you have it. If you have an hour and a half of your life to waste, I suggest you watch this movie, or go roll around in fiberglass insulation, doesn't matter same thing.
Lawnmower Man 2 made in 1996; oh my god, sooo bad. I didn't even know this piece of shit existed until like an hour and half ago. The first Lawnmower Man blew my mind when I first saw it as a little kid. It really was one my first glimpses of computer animation back then. The only thing Lawnmower Man 2 blew was chunks. First of all like all shit sequels that have nothing to do with the first movie, they couldn't get anyone from the first movie to take a dump in the communal bucket of waste called Lawnmower Man 2. I mean why would you? The first movie pretty much wrapped everything up in the end. Spoiler alert! Just in case you have been living under a rock for the past 19 years Anyway the building blows up and Jobe sneaks out into cyberspace in the virtual body or whatever. Lawnmower Man 2 comes along and is oh look we found Jobe and we made him all better. So that sneaking out in cyberspace thing didn't count for anything I guess. So hmm how are they going to use Jobe if the guy that played Jobe in the first film is not in it! Oh they reconstructed his face and chopped off his legs to save his life cause he was so badly burned. Well thats convenient. Now guess who they got to play Jobe? Fucking Max Headroom. Yes, Max fucking Headroom. Now I may be showing my age but the actor that portrays Jobe, a computer animated madman, also played a ummm computer animated madman in the 80s. So I guess they got the right virtual man for the job.
Not quite, this guy does not portray the original Jobe at all. He just acts like a crackhead ripoff Jim Carry. So this computer company makes Max Headroom build the crappy virtual library looking thing that they want everyone to "jack in" to so they can secretly collect everyone's information in the entire world. Now I know where Facebook got their idea. Meanwhile there are these kids that look like the kids from the Newsies that jack off, I mean jack into this virtual game thing where Max Headroom tells them to get the guy who invented virtual reality to help him unlock this chip that hes using to build the virtual library land. So the Newsies listen to Max Headroom and find the guy and he looks like a hippie ripoff Dr. Alan Grant from Jurassic Park.
Later Dr. Alan Grant tells Max Headroom to piss off. Max Headroom then tries to kill them by electronically derailing a subway car. Yeah this is some real high tech shit let me tell you. So anyway Dr. Alan Grant and the newsies break in the headquarters and steal the chip but turns out it was a fake. Then Max Headroom tries to kill them again by electronically crashing a helicopter into Dr. Alan Grant's house. Then the totally pointless online virtual library goes on line and everybody jacks off, I mean, IN, IN. Cause Max Headroom is making all the electronic devices go wacky in the real world and this causes people to login to cyberspace I guess, I dunno. Then Dr. Grant and the newsies break in again to the headquarters and jack IN to fight Max Headroom.
Now the grand finale its Dr. Grant vs. Headroom in virtual reality! This is going to be an awesome battle with some high tech stuff! Wait no. They use swords. Fucking swords in cyberspace. No lasers or even lightsabers. Nope, just swords. So they have an awkward sword fight that looks like it was choreographed by 5 year old. Then someone yanks the chip and the whole virtual world falls apart. Then Max Headroom turns back into an idiot again in the real world. Well at least he can be a lawnmower man again, oh wait no, he doesn't have legs anymore and everybody is happy in the end for some reason or another.
I really hated this movie from start to finish. It was like taking Max Headroom, Newsies, Jurassic Park and stuffing it into the movie set of Blade Runner. Even the soundtrack sounded like it was from Jurassic Park. I also hate the over use of kids in a movie. There was like a whole gang of kids for no reason and the movie tried to build the character of each kid which is totally pointless cause each kid like only has 5 seconds of doing something in the movie. I don't care if the fat kid is the inventor kid or whatever just make him go away. The only things I did like out of this movie was knowing the fact that Max Headroom was so hard up for money that he contributed to this pile of dog vomit, there was a DeLorean driving down the road in one of the scenes and the device they put on their head to jack off was called an "eye phone". It was just so creepy hearing someone from 1996 say iPhone. So yeah, there you have it. If you have an hour and a half of your life to waste, I suggest you watch this movie, or go roll around in fiberglass insulation, doesn't matter same thing.
"Titanic 2: the iceberg's revenge"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxHNztg0X3s
this one is better...he screws ups his line!!!! i'm downloading it now omg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFeNzaKypp0&list=FLFE8hHkcXOxp-QqvZEiRyyw&index=17
iPhone, haha.
Several things were just dumb about the movie.
Main hero is a martial artist named "Black Mask" and he is seemingly unstoppable, but the main villains who run a wrestling ring, but have underground illegal operations.
Bad guy 1: "Black mask is a problem we must find a way to stop him!
Bad guy 2: Hmm, maybe we should dress a wrestler as Black mask, claim its the real deal, and if Black mask shows up we will sue him for stealing copyrighted material!
Bad guy 1: GREAT IDEA!
Bad guy 2, by the way, lets make some chemical to turn our guys into genetically advanced Super soldiers. By the way, they will transform into anthro animals.
Bad guy 1: Sweet, lets give some to black mask too since it slowly kills them over about a weeks time unless they have an antidote.
Bad guy 2: Good idea!
One small example of how the story goes. Pretty dumb.
When did Jim Carrey stop doing crack?
He had that blonde chick thousands of men drooled over, so he can be made fun of.
"The Skateboard Kid" stars Dom Delouise as a wise-cracking skateboard (yes you read that right).
"The Red Baron's Revenge" is about a remote-control model of a Fokker DR-1 triplane that becomes possessed by the spirit of the Red Baron.
"Transmorphers" is a budget knockoff of "Transformers."
"Mac and Me" is a 110 minute McDonald's commercial masquerading as an ET knockoff.
Don't forget to check out some of the unlicensed Turkish versions of Western films, including Turkish Superman (it opens with a shot of a green Christmas ball against a black backdrop that's supposed to be Krypton and goes downhill from there).