Ages ago, when furry was still in its infancy, a group of otters came together to publish a great work. This piece of literature would define how otters everywhere would conduct their behavior and would earn otters the reputation of being dignified, respectable members of society.

Unfortunately, these great plans fell through when it was realized that they were being written up by a bunch of otters. Indeed it is a miracle they were able to finish as many rules as they did, before finding a slide somewhere or a fish to eat!

Without further ado here is a copy of that ancient manuscript. While a few of the names are familiar most of the contributors have been sadly lost to time. Also a fish fell on the bottom half of the manuscript, cutting it off prematurely. *gruffs angrily* If anyone has a full copy of the rules, please let me know!

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THIS IS A COPY OF THE BOOK OF OTTER RULES

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0) Stop whatever you're doing and pay attention to the otter. :3 -- Warwick
1) All rules set forth here are subject to the innate chaos inherent
in otters: i.e. we get to ignore them anytime we want.
--Noctor.
2) If it's not fun, an otter won't do it.--Noctor
3) The likelihood of an otter taking an action is in direct
proportion to the general chaos it adds to the universe.--Noctor.
4) An otter has to lick at least one person's nose a day: it makes
them crosseyed which always adds chaos to the system.--Flint
5) An otter can not, at any given moment, be expected to make
sense.--Kuurn
6) A thing is either food, water, another otter, or a rock.--Warwick
7) If nobody's watching, you'll be able to get away with it.
--Warwick
8) If someone /is/ watching, you're more than cute enough to get
away with it an yway.--Warwick.
9) What rules? And where's the food? I was told food was
involved!--Gryn
10) It is to be a given if you tell an otter _not_ to do something,
and that something has even a remote possiblity of being fun,
the otter will almost certainly do it. --Jericho
11) An otter at rest just hasn't decided what to do yet.---Waveflyer
12) One otter cannot occupy two places at once....but he/she will
certainly try to. --Waveflyer
13) If you can't nuzzle it, play with it, or bite it... pee on it. --
Gilead
14) Like, an otter is the most at home in, y'know, water! So, like
otters are th e greatest natural surfers! Fer sure! Use that
tail, man, and go fer the curl! -- Dean_Wilson <Noctor's Note:
Dean's autograph follows here.. it's not often we get gold
meadalist's signing something like this..>
16) Otters don't count so well. -- Smoke
17) As soon as they think they know the rules, change them. -- Smoke
18) If you can't win with reason, or force, baffle them with playfulness.
Any otter can confuse any non-otter that way. -- Sandy.Claws
19) Otter's Law: Anything that _can_ be played with, _will_ be played with.
-- Sandy.Claws.
20) This book is one thing, my teeth are another; Steal not the one
for fear of the otter.---Tarka
21) Otters became aware of their destiny: to belong to the playful
minority as oposed to the serious majority.---Tarka
22) When an otter begins to think first and act latter. Worry.---Tarka
23) It is a law of otter life, as certain as gravity: They love people
and play with things.---Tarka
24) We are really Otters from outer space. We can tell. By the way furs
look at us with wide-eyed wonder, that such a creature could exist,
let alone talk to them.---Tarka
25) An otter a day keeps your problems away.---Tarka
26) The true innocence of an otter is inversely proportional to how
innocent he/she looks. ---Terminotaur
27) In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. For an
Otter this should be no difficult task -- Alpha_X-ray misquoting Richard
Bach.
28) An Otter lives for four things: 1 - To have as much fun as possible. 2 -
To baffle as many as possible. 3 - To try to lick the nose of everyone at
least once. -- Alpha_X-ray.
29) Definition of the species in one word? Otterrific! --- Diesel
30) Too much caffeine is not necessarily a bad thing. -- BrightEyes
31) There is no such thing as too much caffeine. -- BrightEyes
32) Otters obey mustelid physics. This involves a complete disregard for up
and down. - MelSkunk
33) An otter will remain in motion unless a body to wrap around intervenes. -
MelSkunk
34) An otter's force of persuasion equals flexibility x sneakiness x cuteness
/ hunger. Or sometimes x hunger. It depends. - MelSkunk
35) No energy is destroyed in an otter, but used to its fullest potential to a
power of hyperness x otter_cuteness squared / the speed of salmon.
- MelSkunk
36) There are only two kinds of otters. Live playful ones and dead s