FA+
Shop
Even More True Adventures In Instant Messaging
14 years ago
The inevitable threequel to http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2328023/ and http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2542229/ , only with too many villains and an ill-advised dance sequence.
Random17: Hey. ^_^
Me: Afternoon.
Random1: How're you? ^_^
Me: Goo7d, but work in a few minutes. Just logging out.
Random17: Nuuu, stay!
Me: Unless you're willing to pay by the hour, no.
Random17: You cheap popuwhore.
Random17: *signs out*
***
Random18: Hey wasp man.
Me: Evening.
Random18: You're a sexy bug.
Me: Actually, he's just a character of mine, but thanks, glad you like him.
Random18: I'd let him lay eggs in my belly any day.
Random18: Mmm, lay an egg mountain.
Me: There's an image I didn't need. And I'm done with my rice.
Random18: Ewwwww, rice is so disgusting.
Me: Weren't you just on about egg-laying? As a guy? Out the ass?
Random 18: You're mean.
Random18: *signs out*
***
Random19: Hey babe, u there?
Me: I surely am, sweet baby child o mine.
Random19: How r u?
Me: A good question. How are any of us, in this crazy world? Man, I remember the days when a guy could just be at one with everything.
Random19: Good, I have an idea.
Random19: Woah man, you can't HAVE an idea. Ideas belong to us all, not to be plucked out of the far-out consciousness of the collective ether. Conceptualise it, man!
Random19: I'm so bored. Want to see me on webcam?
Me: My Sharona, stop harshing my buzz. You can't tame a man's being by telling him what to do, what with your feminine ways, and tricks, and and, and boobs.
Random19: Ok, you just have to go to this site and sign up. It's free, k?
Me: Beautiful love child, what happened? You're not the same girl with flowers in her hair I started this committed conversation with. You've gone corporate. You've sold your soul to General Motors and got yourself a nice frying pan set. This isn't going to work. I'm gone.
Random 19:...
Random19:...
Random19: u there babe?
Me: I'm just back for the bong.
Me: *signs out*
***
Random 20:Hey.
Me: Hey there.
Random20: How're you?
Me: Good, you?
Random20: Not good. I think this buttplug's gone septic.
Me: Oh, I thought you'd just popped a haemerhoid or something. That or the firework-launch-from-butt trick in reverse.
Random20: Heh, well-played.
Random20: *signs out*
***
Random21: omg dhutch hi!!!
Me: Well, that's certainly an enthusiastic hello. Hey there.
Random21: YAY IT'S YOU
Random21: I've been wanting to chat to you for ages.
Random21: I LOVE YOUR NAGA
Random21: i just want to get hugged by him
Random21: hi?
Random21:: why aren't you replying
Me: Sorry, you're just typing waaay to fast to keep up with.
*computer disconnects here, and I come back five minutes later to this*
Random21: oh lawl right i talk too much
Random21: so i
Random21: oh
Random21: where'd you go
Random21: hey? helllllooooooooooo
Random21: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwr
Random21: why'd you go???
Random21: i just wanted to chat
Random21: i feel lonely
Random21: hi?
Random21: hello?
Random21: *gets naked*
Random21:...
Random5: hello?
Random21: HELLO??!
Random21: *signs out*
***
Random22: Hey, can I ask you sumthin?
Me: Sure, but no guarantee I'll answer it.
Random22: What's it like, suckign artist cock?
Me: Hmm, like an unsharpened 2B pencil, I reckon. Really wouldn't know.
Random22: Yeah you do. Getting all their slots everytime. Cocksucker.
Me: If by cock you mean bank account and sucker you mean money-giving-to, then yes. Yes indeed.
Random22: I want commissions but I have no money and you always get them.
Me: Well, I have a job, and precious few other vices. If it's any consolation, I'm sure you're the life of the party while I have no social life.
Random22: I don't have a job, my mom won't give me one.
Me: How bloody dare she!
Random22: Stop getting pics, it makes me angry.
Me: Smelly-guy-in-the-cinema angry, Incredible Hulk angry or Christian Bale-angry?
Random22: I'll kill you.
Me: How?
Random22: Knife.
Me: Where?
Random22: Your house.
Me: You're going to stab my house? You monster!
Random22: *signs out*
***
Random23: Hey, you stole my character.
Me: Huh?
Random23: *shows link to a familiar snake, in a very familiar picture*
Random23: You stole him and used him. Stop it or I will sue you.
Me:...you DO realise you've IM'd the guy who commissoned this right? I mean...this is the sort of stupidity you dream about but never think you'll see in real life.
Random23: It is my snake. You took my snake.
Me: What's he called?
Randome23: George.
Me: Oh god, not only did you nick it, you gave him the name of the other character in the pic.
Random23: That is not my shark. I do not know who's.
Me: So you commissoned a pic...of your snake...and some shark magically jumped into it?
Random23: Take all your art down and apologise.
Me: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Me: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Me: To quote a great man, I wouldn't take it down and apologise if we were the last two people on earth, the earth was on fire, I was starving, and you had magical fire extinguisher breath and sleeves that shot out crisps.
Random23: Fuck you.
Random23: *signs out*
***
Random24: Hi.
Me: Hello.
Random24: I just wanted to say that I really like your characters. You get some great art, so thank you.
Me: ...it's a trap isn't it?
Random24: Huh?
Me: You're going to go either all murry-purry or start trolling.
Random24: Nope, just wanted to say thanks for some good pics (and not so good ones lol). Especially the wasp guy.
Random24: Ok, time to go work. Nice to chat to you, goodbye.
Random24: *signs out*
***
There we go, the epic trilogy is complete, and it even ended on a note of hope for sane IMs in the future. No more of these in future. Then again, there are always the deleted scenes...
Random17: Hey. ^_^
Me: Afternoon.
Random1: How're you? ^_^
Me: Goo7d, but work in a few minutes. Just logging out.
Random17: Nuuu, stay!
Me: Unless you're willing to pay by the hour, no.
Random17: You cheap popuwhore.
Random17: *signs out*
***
Random18: Hey wasp man.
Me: Evening.
Random18: You're a sexy bug.
Me: Actually, he's just a character of mine, but thanks, glad you like him.
Random18: I'd let him lay eggs in my belly any day.
Random18: Mmm, lay an egg mountain.
Me: There's an image I didn't need. And I'm done with my rice.
Random18: Ewwwww, rice is so disgusting.
Me: Weren't you just on about egg-laying? As a guy? Out the ass?
Random 18: You're mean.
Random18: *signs out*
***
Random19: Hey babe, u there?
Me: I surely am, sweet baby child o mine.
Random19: How r u?
Me: A good question. How are any of us, in this crazy world? Man, I remember the days when a guy could just be at one with everything.
Random19: Good, I have an idea.
Random19: Woah man, you can't HAVE an idea. Ideas belong to us all, not to be plucked out of the far-out consciousness of the collective ether. Conceptualise it, man!
Random19: I'm so bored. Want to see me on webcam?
Me: My Sharona, stop harshing my buzz. You can't tame a man's being by telling him what to do, what with your feminine ways, and tricks, and and, and boobs.
Random19: Ok, you just have to go to this site and sign up. It's free, k?
Me: Beautiful love child, what happened? You're not the same girl with flowers in her hair I started this committed conversation with. You've gone corporate. You've sold your soul to General Motors and got yourself a nice frying pan set. This isn't going to work. I'm gone.
Random 19:...
Random19:...
Random19: u there babe?
Me: I'm just back for the bong.
Me: *signs out*
***
Random 20:Hey.
Me: Hey there.
Random20: How're you?
Me: Good, you?
Random20: Not good. I think this buttplug's gone septic.
Me: Oh, I thought you'd just popped a haemerhoid or something. That or the firework-launch-from-butt trick in reverse.
Random20: Heh, well-played.
Random20: *signs out*
***
Random21: omg dhutch hi!!!
Me: Well, that's certainly an enthusiastic hello. Hey there.
Random21: YAY IT'S YOU
Random21: I've been wanting to chat to you for ages.
Random21: I LOVE YOUR NAGA
Random21: i just want to get hugged by him
Random21: hi?
Random21:: why aren't you replying
Me: Sorry, you're just typing waaay to fast to keep up with.
*computer disconnects here, and I come back five minutes later to this*
Random21: oh lawl right i talk too much
Random21: so i
Random21: oh
Random21: where'd you go
Random21: hey? helllllooooooooooo
Random21: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwr
Random21: why'd you go???
Random21: i just wanted to chat
Random21: i feel lonely
Random21: hi?
Random21: hello?
Random21: *gets naked*
Random21:...
Random5: hello?
Random21: HELLO??!
Random21: *signs out*
***
Random22: Hey, can I ask you sumthin?
Me: Sure, but no guarantee I'll answer it.
Random22: What's it like, suckign artist cock?
Me: Hmm, like an unsharpened 2B pencil, I reckon. Really wouldn't know.
Random22: Yeah you do. Getting all their slots everytime. Cocksucker.
Me: If by cock you mean bank account and sucker you mean money-giving-to, then yes. Yes indeed.
Random22: I want commissions but I have no money and you always get them.
Me: Well, I have a job, and precious few other vices. If it's any consolation, I'm sure you're the life of the party while I have no social life.
Random22: I don't have a job, my mom won't give me one.
Me: How bloody dare she!
Random22: Stop getting pics, it makes me angry.
Me: Smelly-guy-in-the-cinema angry, Incredible Hulk angry or Christian Bale-angry?
Random22: I'll kill you.
Me: How?
Random22: Knife.
Me: Where?
Random22: Your house.
Me: You're going to stab my house? You monster!
Random22: *signs out*
***
Random23: Hey, you stole my character.
Me: Huh?
Random23: *shows link to a familiar snake, in a very familiar picture*
Random23: You stole him and used him. Stop it or I will sue you.
Me:...you DO realise you've IM'd the guy who commissoned this right? I mean...this is the sort of stupidity you dream about but never think you'll see in real life.
Random23: It is my snake. You took my snake.
Me: What's he called?
Randome23: George.
Me: Oh god, not only did you nick it, you gave him the name of the other character in the pic.
Random23: That is not my shark. I do not know who's.
Me: So you commissoned a pic...of your snake...and some shark magically jumped into it?
Random23: Take all your art down and apologise.
Me: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Me: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Me: To quote a great man, I wouldn't take it down and apologise if we were the last two people on earth, the earth was on fire, I was starving, and you had magical fire extinguisher breath and sleeves that shot out crisps.
Random23: Fuck you.
Random23: *signs out*
***
Random24: Hi.
Me: Hello.
Random24: I just wanted to say that I really like your characters. You get some great art, so thank you.
Me: ...it's a trap isn't it?
Random24: Huh?
Me: You're going to go either all murry-purry or start trolling.
Random24: Nope, just wanted to say thanks for some good pics (and not so good ones lol). Especially the wasp guy.
Random24: Ok, time to go work. Nice to chat to you, goodbye.
Random24: *signs out*
***
There we go, the epic trilogy is complete, and it even ended on a note of hope for sane IMs in the future. No more of these in future. Then again, there are always the deleted scenes...
Hazzy, you get too many commissions! ~>3 I'm gonna strangle your bike!!
inserted their email address in a porn website
if they used your email for porn
I'm so glad I don't use IMs aside from Skype anymore, I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry, or both xD
Were I more creative, and had less aversion to purposely bothering people, I'd likely have joined in myself haha.
I want commissions but I have no money
but I have no money
No money.
I hurled laughing when he said his mom wouldn't give him a job.
Though it could take years >.=.> I'd have to chip away at the bricks for hours and hours and hours...
Tsk! Hide your poor house, Hutch.
I'm just glad you don't find my obsession towards Nathan weird. 8D
Also your responses are spot on. I approve.
I hope you find those amusing and not annoying, would suck for you to endure those every day.
His house?
Bingo.
I'm totally stealing this. Best. Retort. Ever.
...so but wait, has snake-George ever been fucked by a horse? :o
They never cease to amuse that's for sure. I think the house stabber has usurped the guy with the fixation on horses for sheer hilarity. XD
Scary though. Very scary.
I could be very wrong though.
eitherway, who needs skyrim or scott pilgrim? i could be reading these journals forever XD, "mr.hutchence vs. the furries" if you catched the joke.
Ya gotta wonder where the heck these people come from. Like, really? Really?!
Cheers, chief.
Seriously, I enjoy reading these. Makes me smile. And glad I don't put my messenger on FA anymore.
ok. that was freaking awesome.