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Marty Walnut: "Either the team shapes up, or I ship out!"
13 years ago
by Jack Van Weezer, FSPN 
FHL corespondent
Long-time veteran Marty Walnut, often known as "The Nutcracker" for his long history of brutal and ruthless play on the ice, has told the media and Green Bay Tundra General Manager Maynard Von Schnauzer that if the Tundra don't shape up soon, he wants to ship out. An irate Walnut has said this in the post-game press conference following their recent loss to the Bridgeport Bandicoots:
"I originally was okay with Maynard getting rid of Manny LeLis, but now his decision has come to bite us in the (censored)! Many of us in the locker room are starting to think that crazy Canuck must've put a hex on us as he left! We were looking solid in the pre-season and opening day, but since then we've looked like (censored)! Even our powerful goalie Mark Bell and our beloved Captain Bjorn Sandell are looking like (censored) out there! I'm giving Maynard and the team until the All-Star Break to break this curse, trade me for someone who can, or they can expect my resignation from the team and possibly retirement from the FHL! Either the team shapes up, or I ship out!"
The FHL has subsequently fined Walnut $5,000 following the interview for his use of profanity and the Tundra added $2,000 to the fine. Coach Rolph Panacek had this to say about Walnut:
"I've gotten to know Marty for several years and he has changed a lot this year. He is definitely not the fox squirrel that he used to be! His sluggish performance this year has left me reluctant to start him to tell you the truth. If he leaves the team, I can't say he'll be missed that much. Other than that, he's telling us that we need to shape up, well he'll need to do the same if he wants to see playing time!"
FHL corespondent Long-time veteran Marty Walnut, often known as "The Nutcracker" for his long history of brutal and ruthless play on the ice, has told the media and Green Bay Tundra General Manager Maynard Von Schnauzer that if the Tundra don't shape up soon, he wants to ship out. An irate Walnut has said this in the post-game press conference following their recent loss to the Bridgeport Bandicoots:
"I originally was okay with Maynard getting rid of Manny LeLis, but now his decision has come to bite us in the (censored)! Many of us in the locker room are starting to think that crazy Canuck must've put a hex on us as he left! We were looking solid in the pre-season and opening day, but since then we've looked like (censored)! Even our powerful goalie Mark Bell and our beloved Captain Bjorn Sandell are looking like (censored) out there! I'm giving Maynard and the team until the All-Star Break to break this curse, trade me for someone who can, or they can expect my resignation from the team and possibly retirement from the FHL! Either the team shapes up, or I ship out!"
The FHL has subsequently fined Walnut $5,000 following the interview for his use of profanity and the Tundra added $2,000 to the fine. Coach Rolph Panacek had this to say about Walnut:
"I've gotten to know Marty for several years and he has changed a lot this year. He is definitely not the fox squirrel that he used to be! His sluggish performance this year has left me reluctant to start him to tell you the truth. If he leaves the team, I can't say he'll be missed that much. Other than that, he's telling us that we need to shape up, well he'll need to do the same if he wants to see playing time!"
