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A sappy journal about someone very dear to me.
14 years ago
General
I know no one is perfect no matter what people say or think. Which also means that no one can ever truly be the perfect parent no matter how hard they try. It is hard work raising kids of your own and so just sticking with them for better or worse means a lot to your kids.
Listen to the song while reading the rest...I will say why at the end of the journal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrokWXe0tfI
The reason why I mention all that is because there is someone very dear to me that I know I could not make it past high school without his help, guidance, love, and always there when I need someone to just talk to. That person is my father, Jeffrey ******** (not saying last name so HA XD). I can easily think of moments where him and me have said things to each other that really hurt and sadly those things can not be unsaid. What we can do though is grow past those weak moments and our love is stronger than ever.
We talk like adults to each other, am not embarrassed to hug my dad in public with or without friends around or say that I love him around others. He is the type of guy that is easy to get a long with, has a caring heart, great sense of humor, and is just fun to be around. I remember back when I was in 6th grade, he had taught me and my brother all he knows about computers (and still does with what else he learns) so my brother and me had built our very own computer. We uploaded the OP which was Windows XP and had set every little thing up for it to run as good as it can.
Now what you might be thinking is 2 things 1)Is he sick or dead? No he is in perfect health and 2) Whyd you have me listen to that song? It is the first song that I remember. My dad and I would sing it in the car when ever it came on for either CD, cassette, or just the radio. When ever I listen to that song, no matter how depressed I am, I get a huge smile on my face, tears in my eyes and know that he is always by my side even if he is in a different city or what ever.
I truly do love my father more than a lot of people love their fathers because they never had that special bond like my father and I do. We hunt, go to concerts, listen to a lot of the same music (He is why I listen to a lot of the stuff I do), fish, camp, and even just driving around (the reason why I like to drive so much). I know I am not the best son, in fact I am far from it but I hope he knows how much I truly appreciate what all he has done and will do for me later in life. Like I said, I love my father and I know for a fact that when he does pass away, I will be in tears for quite a while. I know death will come show its ugly face and take him away, just I don't want to ever lose my father. Not going to lie, as I type this I have a tear in my eye knowing that most likely he will go before me (age).
I guess what I am trying to get at after all that emotional stuff is that your parents truly love you no matter what. Sure they might not like if you are gay (mine dont know yet so shush lol), a furry (he knows that), or just not into the same stuff as them but if they truly loved you than they will be proud knowing that you are being who you want to be and doing what you want with your life and the fact that you are happy. So the meaning for all of that is...don't take your parents or anyone for granted because we all know what happens to everyone at some point in their lives.
*sighs*
I am hoping I don't make people mad, sad, upset, angry, depressed, or anything but good feelings
*hugs*
And don't worry, we are doing fine so no need to panic. I will let you know when it is panic time.
Oh and just for reading the WHOLE thing (I am going by honesty) I will draw you a headshot of anything you want. You comment on here saying I read it all, your thoughts if you have any you want to share publicly, and then your ref and other info for the headshot.
You can also PM me your thoughts if you don't want any other furs but this trusty skunk to know that you have feelings =3
Listen to the song while reading the rest...I will say why at the end of the journal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrokWXe0tfI
The reason why I mention all that is because there is someone very dear to me that I know I could not make it past high school without his help, guidance, love, and always there when I need someone to just talk to. That person is my father, Jeffrey ******** (not saying last name so HA XD). I can easily think of moments where him and me have said things to each other that really hurt and sadly those things can not be unsaid. What we can do though is grow past those weak moments and our love is stronger than ever.
We talk like adults to each other, am not embarrassed to hug my dad in public with or without friends around or say that I love him around others. He is the type of guy that is easy to get a long with, has a caring heart, great sense of humor, and is just fun to be around. I remember back when I was in 6th grade, he had taught me and my brother all he knows about computers (and still does with what else he learns) so my brother and me had built our very own computer. We uploaded the OP which was Windows XP and had set every little thing up for it to run as good as it can.
Now what you might be thinking is 2 things 1)Is he sick or dead? No he is in perfect health and 2) Whyd you have me listen to that song? It is the first song that I remember. My dad and I would sing it in the car when ever it came on for either CD, cassette, or just the radio. When ever I listen to that song, no matter how depressed I am, I get a huge smile on my face, tears in my eyes and know that he is always by my side even if he is in a different city or what ever.
I truly do love my father more than a lot of people love their fathers because they never had that special bond like my father and I do. We hunt, go to concerts, listen to a lot of the same music (He is why I listen to a lot of the stuff I do), fish, camp, and even just driving around (the reason why I like to drive so much). I know I am not the best son, in fact I am far from it but I hope he knows how much I truly appreciate what all he has done and will do for me later in life. Like I said, I love my father and I know for a fact that when he does pass away, I will be in tears for quite a while. I know death will come show its ugly face and take him away, just I don't want to ever lose my father. Not going to lie, as I type this I have a tear in my eye knowing that most likely he will go before me (age).
I guess what I am trying to get at after all that emotional stuff is that your parents truly love you no matter what. Sure they might not like if you are gay (mine dont know yet so shush lol), a furry (he knows that), or just not into the same stuff as them but if they truly loved you than they will be proud knowing that you are being who you want to be and doing what you want with your life and the fact that you are happy. So the meaning for all of that is...don't take your parents or anyone for granted because we all know what happens to everyone at some point in their lives.
*sighs*
I am hoping I don't make people mad, sad, upset, angry, depressed, or anything but good feelings
*hugs*
And don't worry, we are doing fine so no need to panic. I will let you know when it is panic time.
Oh and just for reading the WHOLE thing (I am going by honesty) I will draw you a headshot of anything you want. You comment on here saying I read it all, your thoughts if you have any you want to share publicly, and then your ref and other info for the headshot.
You can also PM me your thoughts if you don't want any other furs but this trusty skunk to know that you have feelings =3
That is wonderful...
My mother and I share that same bond you share with your dad, though she knows I'm bi.
And even though my father and I don't agree on anything, I still do love him...
When my mom and dad divorced and she moved out to ithaca with my ex step dad, she was hardly around except for christmas and thanksgiving for my grandma on her side. Because of that she did not make a lot of my band concerts when I was in high school, jazz band stuff, marching shows, or parades.
My mother and I are DESPERATELY trying to get my father to leave us...
We... have a complicated and strained (to keep things light) relationship with him.
I only WISH he could change, but for now, the only thing I want is for him to leave..
I do hope things get better for you *hug*
It's far more complicated than I'm presenting it, but some things should just be unsaid, I suppose.
*hug*
And yes, I know things will get better for me. It's only a matter of time...
*hugs still*
Yea, I just hope that time comes soon.
Thank you for your moving journal though... It's really sweet.
And thank you for listening to my whining. It actually helps some.
Your welcome, glad it actually helped someone instead of just be here and unread.
Your welcome, I am the skunk that if anyone ever needs someone to listen to them, I am your fur so no matter what its about just come to me and vent. If you want any possible solutions than say so before talking ahaha
I know he'll still love you all the same.
So I cant at the moment as I am dependent of him for housing, food, and warmth.
I hope you can sit him down and tell him someday, and just remember that, no matter how he reacts, he's still your father. *hug*
The only difference is that those amenities are being WITHHELD from me until I can meet his demands.
I have to pay for everything on a minimum wage job and go to school full time and STILL have the energy to come home to fold his laundry and open his beer for him
I just dont fold his laundry or open his beer. I do my laundry, clean the house when brother is being lazy (twins) and an ass at times, mow the damn 2 lot lawn, shovel, anything that needs to be done really.
Usually 20-30 hours a week
Depends. It's light work though, so at least it's not too physically taxing, and my co-workers all love me, so the workday is more than tolerable.
But still it's work, and it's no fun :P
In any case, enough of my whining!
This journal is meant to be HAPPY!!! :)
..ER SAPPY! :D
Well my job is VERY physically demanding. You are on your feet all day whether it is drying the cars that come through or prepping them before they get sent through. Some days it is easier than others while others it is worse than hell.
Well it seemed sappy to me XD
My day is mostly spent not trying to smack the living daylights out of someone who literally throws me the money and leaves without so much as looking at me.
But we've all grievances about our jobs.
Mine just happens to me more psychological and more about self control and not talking back to snooty rich people
(Panera is like an upscale Subway. More healthy and quite honestly, more delicious. ^_^)
(ahhhh ok lol)
I'm not joking. We have signs posted for that very reason and no one notices.
I swear, I even put a BIG SIGN on the door clearly saying what time we closed, and someone still had the gall to ask me.
Most of our illiterate clientele seem to have migrated straight from McDonalds.
Right down to the mother with screaming children begging for a cookie from our bakery, throwing some indescribable object at our manager's face and the mother REEKING of Marlboro cigarette smoke while (I kid you not) taking out a breast pump she intended to use at a booth.... *shudders*
I suppose dumb people are anywhere, regardless where you work. :\
Ok, one day when we closed, I was finishing stuff outside before heading out (was already off the clock) and someone pulls up asking for a wash. I tell him that it is closed because that big thing called a door is closed and is not coming back up tomorrow. He sat there for a moment to think of what I just said then asked me "So can I get a wash?" I told him no because we are closed, we have been closed for 5 minutes now (was 6pm since it was a sunday). He asked to speak to my manager and so I told him to go to the office up front. He did and when he returned as I had just finished putting down salt, he looked at me and said "You guys are in on this together now let me get a wash" I told him to wait there, walked up to my manager on the other side of the building, told him that the guy is still asking for a wash and thinks we are pulling a fast one on him.
We just sat there and talked for a few minutes thinking he would leave...he didnt...so we walked up back up and told him to back up a few feet because I needed to get my car out. I started my car and drove toward the entrance, my manager opened it and closed it behind me. The guy in the truck which wasnt even dirty said he will make sure we lose our jobs. He did not know our names since we took our work shirts off. That was a month ago and I am still working there and so is the manager. Since we have cameras, we have it on video and trying to get the GM to let us post it on youtube...he said no because it would make the company look bad. It was funny as hell though ahaha
One day, I was at the register chatting with a fellow co-worker, and this woman comes in breathless and says "PLEASE tell me you have pumpkin muffins left!"
I looked over at the bakery display case, and saw only one.
"We have one more left ma'am." I said, politely.
She looked at me as thought I smacked her in the face. "ONE? Are you kidding me?!!?! How can there only be one?!"
At this point, my co-worker left to attend to her own tasks, and I was standing there trying to calm her down and explain. "I apologize ma'am, but we only bake a certain amount a day, and pumpkin muffins tend to go by fast around this time of day.."
She slammed her fist down on the countertop. "Well I need three of them NOW!! Can't you go in back and make some really quickly?!"
To which I replied, "...Muffins take four hours to bake, ma'am. I'm really sorry, but if you'd like, there's another Panera that might still have some left down the stre--"
"NO! I just came from there! They're gone too! How could you guys be out?!! IT'S THE SEASON FOR GODDAMN PUMPKIN MUFFINS!!!"
(This was back in October, mind you)
"I wanna talk to your manager, NOW!"
I motioned for my manager to speak with her, which only served to annoy her further since she received the same response from him as she did from me.
As he went to wrap her muffin up for her, she said out of earshot of him to me, "You know what? I'm sick of this. There's never any muffins when I need them! I'm gonna call this store and have them bake THIRTY muffins and not even come in and get them! This is the SEASON for them! You should be baking more!!"
I sighed and said to her, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I don't bake these muffins. What do you want me to do, magically make them appear?"
At which point, she widended her eyes, and stormed out of the store in a huff.
Jw, did you listen to the song I have linked or no? jw
It's a beautiful song. :)
Geoff Tate is the singer of the band, an amazing singer at that
I'm always hunting for music, so this actually made me quite happy!! ^_^
*big hug*
It doesnt have to be with your father though, it can be with your mother, grandmother, who ever. Just as long as you have that special bond with at least one person in your family I think helps a lot.
*bigger hug*
Well I can be a part of your family and I WONT reject the wonderful you.
It's wonderful that you have that kind of bond.I was reading something yesterday, where a bunch of little kids were asked, do you like tv or daddy more? The answer was almost always "tv". It's sad that we live in a world like that, socount yourself lucky. I have that kind of bond with my mom. I never really got along with my dad, probably because after my parnts divorced, i still lived with him. I reminded him too much of my mom, so we didnt get along very well. But when i moved in with my mom, 3 years ago, i felt free to be who i really was, and havent been happier in my whole life. :) special bonds with parents are wonderful, aren't they?
It is sad when technology is put forward more with love and care than the humans that make them.
They are wonderful, the only thing I have not told my dad is my sexual preference yet but other than that things are good c:
You listen to the linked song?