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Feelings come out eventually, whether good, bad, or both.
11 years ago
I've realized while watching lots of anime (I get really into them so shush >.<) and thinking for myself after so long of not doing it that I was becoming someone I had always hated...being sad and alone because of my own doing.
While sitting here, I was thinking of one person and how she helped me become the person I am today. I am forever thankful and unintentionally in debt to her because of her being her. I'm not meaning that I only do things for her because I feel like I have to to make up for it, but because I want to. I have had really strong feelings for her for a VERY long time and they only get stronger as days pass by. She is my best friend and I wish I had the strength and courage to tell her how I truly feel. I want to be able to prove to her (while also finding out if she feels the same way for me or not) that I am who I am today because of her and always keep improving as time ticks away.
I sent her a really long text explaining the previous paragraph, minus the true feelings for her part. I am afraid of losing her if I do tell her and going back to who I used to be. I don't want to lose her, and always want to be by her side. I don't want to be without her in my life. I just wish I knew how she felt about me and that they were the same, if not stronger toward me. It bothers me thinking of losing her and not being by her side while we are states apart because of the profession I have chosen.
This might be what true love feels like, and I really like it, but also despise it at the same time. I can't help it. As I sent her that text and am writing this now, I have a big smile on my face, my heart thumping, but also a pit in my stomach filled with butterflies, fear, and lonelyness.
I wish I was a stronger individual that deserved her love back. Someone that she truly deserves, because she truly deserves the best. She is always striving to better herself and doing the best she can at the same time.
Sometimes I have tears rolling down my face as I try to sleep knowing I can't see her for a while because of my choices, and wanting to be there for her no matter what. Being by her side truly motivates me to do my best. Being that one person when everyone else turns away, she will look at and be happy in an instant...like I am when I hear her voice, see a text from her, or see her pictures online.
While sitting here, I was thinking of one person and how she helped me become the person I am today. I am forever thankful and unintentionally in debt to her because of her being her. I'm not meaning that I only do things for her because I feel like I have to to make up for it, but because I want to. I have had really strong feelings for her for a VERY long time and they only get stronger as days pass by. She is my best friend and I wish I had the strength and courage to tell her how I truly feel. I want to be able to prove to her (while also finding out if she feels the same way for me or not) that I am who I am today because of her and always keep improving as time ticks away.
I sent her a really long text explaining the previous paragraph, minus the true feelings for her part. I am afraid of losing her if I do tell her and going back to who I used to be. I don't want to lose her, and always want to be by her side. I don't want to be without her in my life. I just wish I knew how she felt about me and that they were the same, if not stronger toward me. It bothers me thinking of losing her and not being by her side while we are states apart because of the profession I have chosen.
This might be what true love feels like, and I really like it, but also despise it at the same time. I can't help it. As I sent her that text and am writing this now, I have a big smile on my face, my heart thumping, but also a pit in my stomach filled with butterflies, fear, and lonelyness.
I wish I was a stronger individual that deserved her love back. Someone that she truly deserves, because she truly deserves the best. She is always striving to better herself and doing the best she can at the same time.
Sometimes I have tears rolling down my face as I try to sleep knowing I can't see her for a while because of my choices, and wanting to be there for her no matter what. Being by her side truly motivates me to do my best. Being that one person when everyone else turns away, she will look at and be happy in an instant...like I am when I hear her voice, see a text from her, or see her pictures online.
