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A few ramblings about life
14 years ago
General
Recommended Listening
dan le sac vs Scroobius Pip - Waiting for the Beat to Kick In
Even the nicest of guys have some nasty within' 'em
You don't have to be backlit to be the villain
Whether it's greed, lust or plain vindictiveness
There's a level of malevolence inside of all of us
Well hey, it's been a while since a journal that wasn't a watcher welcome, hasn't it? Tis journal is perhaps more serious, within I'll be talking about creative works, religious beliefs and my attitude to the furry fandom. If you just followed me for the art or inane trivia, this journal is not for you.
---
First up, creative works. You probably noticed that I haven't uploaded anything to my gallery since The Genesis of the Slorg story, while slow upload times aren't rare around these parts, the reason is a bit more purposeful than just lack of motivation.
Following the release of Slorg, I decided to try and pursue writing as my primary form of expression within the furry fandom. After all I'm a much more proficient writer than I am illustrator. As is evident - this hasn't come to pass. I have about as much motivation to write as I used to have to draw, which is to say very little. We'll touch on this again in a moment.
---
Now for a topic I don't often talk about: religion. For quite a few years now I have fairly consistently listed my religious practices as either agnostic (as in nobody can prove or disprove a higher power, not "I don't care") or more frequently Buddhist.
A little secret for you: I never really knew much about Buddhism. I knew the parts that most people know of - karma, doing no harm to living things, maintaining a peaceful state of mind, the planes of existence, etc. - and I did practice these, and still do!
Recently however I read more in depth about Buddhist practices, the full Four Noble Truths and the Eight-Fold Path, and it's become pretty safe to say I've been living the full on Buddhist lifestyle for quite a few years. Don't indulge in anger, do not partake in idle gossip, do not make business through the exploitation of others, don't drink alcohol or partake in recreational drug usage, don't pass judgment on anyone for any reason? Dude, you're practically describing the last several years of my life here.
To conclude, I'm a Buddhist now. Please respect my practices as I do yours.
---
And now my attitude to the furry fandom. This is probably ending the journal on a bad note, but I figured it fit best at the conclusion.
For the last many, many months I have felt fairly disconnected from the furry fandom. I am no longer a frequent content producer and are no longer frequent at furry meets or events. The number of people I'm in regular communication with has dwindled to a quite literal handful, and I get the impression through blockades and lack of responsiveness that others are trying to avoid me. I've been removed from the Christmas card list, so to speak.
I'm not blaming them for anything, I cannot claim to know their motives or situation. I am aware this is my personal perception and won't pass judgement of the individuals based upon it.
This disconnect is not just based on social communication with others but the fandom at large. As per my Furries vs. Bronies style journal from December, there are quite a few features of the furry fandom I find distasteful, and my perception of the fandom as awhile has shifted to a significantly negative slant. If I were still producing Furry Guru videos as I was several years ago, I would struggle to justify the fandom as a positive force. It has, in my eyes, lost the innocence it once had and this troubles me greatly.
I do not have any plans to depart the fandom, neither permanently or temporarily. I'm quite aware of the futility of doing so. But don't expect much of me around either.
---
First up, creative works. You probably noticed that I haven't uploaded anything to my gallery since The Genesis of the Slorg story, while slow upload times aren't rare around these parts, the reason is a bit more purposeful than just lack of motivation.
Following the release of Slorg, I decided to try and pursue writing as my primary form of expression within the furry fandom. After all I'm a much more proficient writer than I am illustrator. As is evident - this hasn't come to pass. I have about as much motivation to write as I used to have to draw, which is to say very little. We'll touch on this again in a moment.
---
Now for a topic I don't often talk about: religion. For quite a few years now I have fairly consistently listed my religious practices as either agnostic (as in nobody can prove or disprove a higher power, not "I don't care") or more frequently Buddhist.
A little secret for you: I never really knew much about Buddhism. I knew the parts that most people know of - karma, doing no harm to living things, maintaining a peaceful state of mind, the planes of existence, etc. - and I did practice these, and still do!
Recently however I read more in depth about Buddhist practices, the full Four Noble Truths and the Eight-Fold Path, and it's become pretty safe to say I've been living the full on Buddhist lifestyle for quite a few years. Don't indulge in anger, do not partake in idle gossip, do not make business through the exploitation of others, don't drink alcohol or partake in recreational drug usage, don't pass judgment on anyone for any reason? Dude, you're practically describing the last several years of my life here.
To conclude, I'm a Buddhist now. Please respect my practices as I do yours.
---
And now my attitude to the furry fandom. This is probably ending the journal on a bad note, but I figured it fit best at the conclusion.
For the last many, many months I have felt fairly disconnected from the furry fandom. I am no longer a frequent content producer and are no longer frequent at furry meets or events. The number of people I'm in regular communication with has dwindled to a quite literal handful, and I get the impression through blockades and lack of responsiveness that others are trying to avoid me. I've been removed from the Christmas card list, so to speak.
I'm not blaming them for anything, I cannot claim to know their motives or situation. I am aware this is my personal perception and won't pass judgement of the individuals based upon it.
This disconnect is not just based on social communication with others but the fandom at large. As per my Furries vs. Bronies style journal from December, there are quite a few features of the furry fandom I find distasteful, and my perception of the fandom as awhile has shifted to a significantly negative slant. If I were still producing Furry Guru videos as I was several years ago, I would struggle to justify the fandom as a positive force. It has, in my eyes, lost the innocence it once had and this troubles me greatly.
I do not have any plans to depart the fandom, neither permanently or temporarily. I'm quite aware of the futility of doing so. But don't expect much of me around either.
I don't think I ever saw the fandom as innocent, simply taking a live and let live approach. It's less then ideal to see someone become more reclusive then they were, perhaps one day we'll be friends! you seem like a pretty great dude.