I'd like to apologize (for like the 50th time) about not doing any art. I've recently dropped out of the Institute and have been searching for a job. I can not really place all blame on that for I've been lazing around for weeks. Sleeping all day and staying up all night, I've been thrown out of a normal sleep pattern. I feel horrible and am falling in to a depression and am not sure what to do with my life. The thing that depresses me the most is that I haven't drawn at all in forever. I used to draw every day and it felt good. Even if it was a tiny sketch, I would get something down on paper. I think the dA craze that I was going threw really screwed me up as an artist (which is why I deleted that account.) I saw myself start to draw solely for deviantART and for attention. As hard as it is to admit, I was an attention whore. I don't feel like I am now, I just wanna fuckin draw. I've been struggling finding my own style, I have an idea of what I want but it's hard to accomplish that. I look at my work and feel like it's not good, or it could be better. Which in a way is a good thing because it keeps you wanting to get better. I guess at the end of the day, you're your own worst critic.

I apologize if I seem like I'm whining about my life and all that jazz, I'm really not. I just wanted to get it off of my chest and come to realization with what is happening to me. So I promise not to get more pictures posted, but to draw more in general and hopefully get back to posting a pic a day!

- Love JAVA