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This may just be a sick rant...
13 years ago
So I have been sick for the past week...
So I am sorry about the ranting...
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But I need to get some things off my chest so that I can actually just think without having to worry about depression kicking in every five seconds...
So good things first, I have finally found some awesome furry friends that actually love talking to me and being around me, and you know who you are, and if you don'y I am sure you will find out.
I am now single!
I no longer feel like I have that ball and chain anymore, lol.
Confusing relationship was confusing.... and let's leave that at that.
BAD NEWS
So I have been sick for the past week, with pretty much nothing to do but think and draw, good because I got to draw more of Patchwork.
My friends have also been sick and it sucks not being able to help them much at all... but apparently talking to them over Skype has really helped the feel better, so I am glad I am able to at least cheer them up that way.
During my time to think and what, I started thinking again... which I know is bad... I really hate it here in New Mexico, all my best closest friends I have for ages live on the east coast where there is actually shit to do, and lush green environments where the sun doesn't try to kill you when decide to go for a simple walk to the mail box...
Living here has never been my choice, I wasn't born here and haven't lived her for most of my life.
I like the friends I have here, but they're the only real reason why I haven't left this place....
and the fact that everytime I try to save up a little bit of money so I can leave this hellhole, I loose my job or can't even get a job in the first place.
The job market here sucks, and when I looked at it a while back, New Mexico has the Second Worst Employment Rate in the Country. Which doesn't even include the employment rate for for the people like me that has given up on even thinking that they had a chance of getting job here.
My Hyper-Anxiety is the crowning bane of my life right now, it makes me so disabled to the point where I can't get a job but at the same time it's not disabling enough that I can't get Social Security Income.
I am getting tired of telling my friends that I can't do things because I don't have the money to do it...
I honestly just want things to look good in my direction for once.
Yeah hopefully, though 3 almost four years without a job doesn't look very hopeful