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Anxiety Levels
12 years ago
Yeaaah these are fun, they have been way too high for my pleasure lately, and every little thing is getting to me again. I normally hate doing these journals because they make me think about things, but sometimes I just need to do it to get my mind on something else for a little while at best.
I went to the dentist today get a check-up, luckily the tooth that lost it's filling isn't that bad, but I found out I have like 2k$ worth of dental work they want to get done on my teeth. One of which is chance of them doing a Root Canal *shivers at the thought*
I don't know if I can get a hold of SSI, and I haven't had a job in over a year waiting for the government to make up it's damn mind about it all. If I loose this I am pretty much guaranteed to be dead broke, even though my illness makes it it impossible for me to work.
My birthday is coming in a little over a month, I am really dreading the thought, because this year I get to spend it truly alone or maybe do something with my parents...
There are days where I really feel like I can't handle this anymore, because my life is at a complete stand-still.
I went to the dentist today get a check-up, luckily the tooth that lost it's filling isn't that bad, but I found out I have like 2k$ worth of dental work they want to get done on my teeth. One of which is chance of them doing a Root Canal *shivers at the thought*
I don't know if I can get a hold of SSI, and I haven't had a job in over a year waiting for the government to make up it's damn mind about it all. If I loose this I am pretty much guaranteed to be dead broke, even though my illness makes it it impossible for me to work.
My birthday is coming in a little over a month, I am really dreading the thought, because this year I get to spend it truly alone or maybe do something with my parents...
There are days where I really feel like I can't handle this anymore, because my life is at a complete stand-still.
Anxiety is a funny thing. it tends to creep up on you at the worst times, and stick there like a huge mess that cant be cleaned.
from what Ive heard from the VA, and a doctor, your anxiety will compound and compound the more you say you are anxious.
its kind of like having a headache and thinking "ow ow it hurts it hurts I have a headache", but to a slightly different degree.
you need to almost grab the anxiety by the balls.. tell yourself what is bugging you, which you have done here, and then again tell yourself small things you can do to change it, or sway your mind with good things~! dont let anxiety be a negative input with no output, or negative output.
I used to write down what was making me panick. or immediately go for a run/hit the weights.
as far as the dental bills go... its a bitch and a bite. the best I can say is start small. write little goals on paper. try to find a clinic that can take ground-rate government insurance. try for a plan like that. I dunno, I have only been in that situation once, and immediately signed up for the shittiest free healthcare I could find.
as far as SSI goes, you gotta bitch those fuckers out. they easily forget that someones life is on the line. as far as a job goes..... I would do the ol' day-trip. just walk for one hour one way and ask every damn place if theyre hiring. if no, okay! move on. nothing harmful will come of it. if yes, write it on your hand or something, or fill out an app there/online. I know location is key, and you could be too far from a hiring business. but I just thought it'd be worth sayin'.
for your birthday, I will make you a commission. sorry, not good at drawing, but keep that paypal open if you got one, too. ;)
Anxiety will not hold you up. you hold up anxiety. stop, sit down, and find the root. confront every possible thing that makes you anxious. do not treat anxiety as an illness. it tends to compound once the crutch is set. its just the dead-time that youre in. it makes you think. which is baaad. it WILL get better!!!
I believe in you buddy!