So here is what I am thinking. Prayer. Are you really ready for prayers to be answered? I sure wasn’t and maybe I’m having a little fun with this idea but it sure helps me to keep from feeling picked on or overwhelmed with self pity.

I have been praying off and on for a little help with something that concerns me deeply. I wont lie I’m a little overweight. I’ve a problematic back problem that flairs up with just the littlest bit of extra weight that really becomes an issue and often times I end up walking with a cane. *chuckles* really not my favored assistance tool. I managed to carry three children despite this, but by six months I was virtually laid up on bed rest for the following three and a half give or take. This back issue sent me into pre labor often and really packed on the pounds because I couldn’t get up and walk or if I did was steps no wider then toe to heal. I was even passed in the mall by a little old lady in a motorized wheel chair and she turned around to laugh at me trying to walk and excersize during my first pregnancy. That memory was despressing at the time but now I find it funny and worthy of remembering. I decided three childern was plenty and no more due to pregnancy troubles. I have been working hard to loose those unwanted pounds and restore my endurance back to its former glory. I had wanted to work with the fire department or even be a paramedic. I would have passed their endurance tests and weight lifting but now I would fail miserably, and now that I know I have a flawed vertabrae it would be bad to suddenly be unable to move or have my leg buckle under me. Its been a real bane in my self esteem and a hardship on my sanity. Here comes in the prayers. The list as follows, Help me loose this weight, help me exercise each day no matter my fatigue or disinterest, Help me eat only what I need. It goes on in many different forms and always ends by your will it be done.

Well by his will its been answered to some degree. *chuckles* We have been in serious financial limbo due to sudden emergencies that have cost us though sands of dollars. Not to worry we have weathered it with uplifted hearts and hope because it is not permanent or by any means our last stand. It also helps to have a husband with a rock will and comforting embrace.

Well after falling into debt a good 20,000 we come to find out our septic has failed. By this point in time I am ready to start bawling like a child and seriously ponder if we are going to make it. For a day we rushed three kids to local stores to use restrooms while we forked out 700 bucks to pump the system and have the lines jetted. No good… They where not only clogged but the lines where collapsed. Estimates to fix a failed drain field begins at 10,000 dollars. I was ready to die all over again. It went from bad to worst. Not to fear my prayers remember those? Well instead of paying someone to do it we had no choice but to dig our entire back yard up the good old fashioned way, hand and shovel. You see we only have a four foot clearance on either side of our house due to the design of the neighborhood. I hurts so bad its not even funny but look what its doing for me. I’m exercising like I’m in boot camp and I eat only at meal times and only enough to keep me going because I just don’t have time. Were racing the weather you see. My endurance day by day is increasing and I find I can shovel longer periods without stopping to rest. My back muscles are increasing and I can walk without my leg collapsing out from under me from that awful extra vertebrae. Its half formed and pinches a very vital nerve without warning. No hope of surgery just weight loss and muscle tone is the only thing I can do.

So we have dug our fifty foot trenches, four feet deep pulling up old piping, and three feet wide this far. We are now shoveling rocks and pouring them into the pits over the new pipes. The next project is to put all that dirt back where it belongs. I had to pray for help and I do believe those prayers where answered. Some may think, surely God wouldn’t punish you by something so terrible at such a very bad time. Maybe so but I am sure he knows me better then I do. Had he or has given me an opportunity to workout and feel good about myself, I probably would not have seen it clearly or I would have put it aside because it was not a pressing issue. This way he knew I had no choice but to put everything superficial out of my mind and concentrate on getting our wonderful very appreciated modern convenience as a toilet back up and running. I feel good at night and sleep soundly despite my back bothering me and my arms aching like never before. I wake rested despite all that pain ready to begin the day anew. Makes you wonder just how many times we call upon God to help us but we don’t really want to listen till his hand is forced to give us a good kick in the butt and say. Hey stop asking me for help like a little child and listen when I show you a way.