So everyone knows the basis of Dead Island.If you never heard of Dead Island its a video game for all platforms except wii of course.Cause who wants to play the fucking wii?I'll delve into that later though.Of course Dead Island is EXACTLY how it sounds.You're on an island and EVERYONE is dead.Except for you of course.You and 3 other people are the only ones with immunities.Its like you're the only ones wearing condoms in an orgy.Well,of course you get a speaker box telling you everywhere you need to go as a tutorial.Which is pretty cool.There is no one going over the 4th barrier of the story.
Like those shitty Zelda tutorials where they're like..."PRESS AND HOLD THE(whatever the fuck the wii buttons are) TO CHARGE YOUR SWORD!
Its like...Wtf.So every character knows that this is a video game and your character is the only dumbass to care what happens in virtual space..
You might as well just quit and be like....Well if thats the case fuck this.You're going to respawn if I reset anyways.Theres no fucking point in fighting ganon anymore.

But I strayed too far from the topic.The tutorials are brought up to you by little messages that pop up on the top or the bottom screen,idk what way it is for each system.If you can move it or not,but anyways.So you get to a bungalow to find out everyone is australian and the only americans are the quarterback the rapper and...maybe the asian?

This game seems pretty solid in the plot you're trying to get off the island infested with zombies right?Well,you're right.

Gameplay wise?
THIS IS A PIECE OF SHIT COVERED IN GOLD SPRINKLES!Everything just fucking runs up behind you.Not to mention for a zombie game its not scary at all.You can fucking spot these zombies a mile away its so fucking bright.The entire game is spent in the DAYTIME.Every now and then it rains,but its NEVER night.Like the developers can make weather changes but they're too fucking lazy to make it night?Just fucking change the lighting and put a few dots in the sky for stars,but no...they want to scare you in sunny skies and beaches.The anticipation of watching slow ass zombies inch their way to you.Oh shit.Dont fucking just run past them!That's impossible when there are huge gaps inbetween them.Every now and then you'll get someone pop out of a bush.Thats the only time you'll be scared,but they take away the fear when your character can just turn around,punch them in the face and pretty much says,SHUT THE FUCK UP ZOMBIE!Honestly,the puzzles are more challenging than the zombies.

Not to mention you have to repair shit ALL the time.I shit you not.You can kill a good 10 people and your weapon is broken.I understand they were going for realism,but how do you break a fucking crowbar?Its just a hunk of solid metal.The likely hood of someone breaking a crowbar in real life is just impossible.Especially when you're using it to bash skulls in.A skull isn't going to even dent this thing IRL.I guess if you were tom and jerry this kind of shit were possible.When you fucking hit these shit head zombies their head imprint will be left on the bar like a good ol' cartoon

Another thing that bothered me about this game was multiplayer...DONT FUCKING DO IT!Don't join someone online until you beat the game yourself.The reason I say this..and I say this with the most deepest sincerities...Its a fucking trap.I gaurantee they will fuck up the game for you.Half the time you get an asshole that loot steals from all your kills.Not to mention they can fuck up your storyline.No joke.They can.Its a new form of trolling warfare and these fucks brought out the atomic shit.If your new found squadmates are ahead of the game from you they can progress you to their story.Which means you lose YOUR fucking story.THATS BULLSHIT!You get locked out of quests from this crap.You shouldn't be put in qeue with people farther ahead of you.That means this game is a spoiler in itself.

Throwing weapons
Throwing your weapons is the shit.Its better than masturbation.If you go down one of the trees you unlock an ability called boomerang which allows you to get your weapon back from throwing it without having to pick it up.But sometimes it doesn't make sense.You can throw a bat and somehow it'll find itself back to you.You might as well stand on a car and keep chucking.

But doesnt throwing take away the challenge?
Yes,yes it does.This game has gotten bad reviews before from this.The game is WAY too fucking easy.If you climb a car then the only zombie that can reach you is the runners but you don't run into them too often and a kick will knock their asses back down.To compensate for this fuck up developers made it so your enemies are either the same lvl as you or higher.But this doesn't resolve a single thing.You might as well have a pile of shit in the middle of the room and the developers instead of resolving the issue decide to just spray it with febreeze...YEAH!That helps the shit is still there but atleast it smells better.I can't wait for an actual zombie attack.I'll fucking hop on a car and I'll be invincible.

Ending sucks
The plot was all good until you get to the end.The missions are MUCH more difficult.Its more of a challenge.You know?Like an ACTUAL GAME.
Anyways,in the end NOTHING gets resolved.You keep wondering well,what started the zombie plague?Why are we the only ones with immunities?Well too fucking bad.There is no answer.Only speculation.It might be the government...It might be a prisoner..Who the fuck knows...I certainly don't.

This game is just fucking ridiculous.If you like zombie games with bad endings and no effort this is your game.As for me I'm glad I didn't buy it.The hype it got isn't worth it.Left4Dead was more intense than this.You know why?THE ZOMBIES WERE ACTUALLY CHALLENGING!