Is what my managers at work told me today in an attempt to get me to cut it shorter (or their preference, shave it off). Yes, I repeat, a "safety hazard." I work part time at a grocery store as a cashier for those of you who do not know... so now... think of how this might be a safety hazard for me.

There were 3 reasons why my bosses said this.

1) it might catch on fire.

2) it might get caught in the conveyor belt that moves the groceries closer to me so I can scan them.

3) it might get caught in the wheel of a shopping cart.


I... don't... erm...

Actually lemme start over,

If my head is close enough to a random open flame (p.s. I don't smoke), I'm fairly sure that scorching my beard is going to be the last thing on my mind. As for getting my beard stuck in the conveyor belt, I told them that I would let them know the next time I would be nuzzling the belt so that they could monitor me to make sure I'm not putting my beard anywhere where it will get stuck. Also, I had also asked them about other employees with long hair if they would be asked to cut their hair to avoid it getting stuck in the conveyor belt... they could not answer me. And that last topic... I could only laugh. Their worry would be that I was laying on the ground and a cart would run my beard over and get stuck in a wheel. Please, conjure up a mental image of that scenario. Now, is your first thought "His goatee is too long" or "Why on earth is that man laying on the ground?"

For reference, the current length of my goatee http://bit.ly/HuaH7r

Also keep in mind, this is a fairly large company... I've been working there for over 4 years now... and the store director continues to focus on myself and other other coworker of mine about the length of our facial hair. The best part is that she's gone through and highlighted the part in our uniform and dress code book that relates to facial hair, and it only says that it must be trimmed "close to the face." Hurray for vagueness and no definitive answer! Yet I continue to wear cargo khakis every day into work where the same book that she's reading from clearly says "no cargos," and she has never said a word to me about that. Honestly, I'm not even upset at this situation at present. I'm finding it not only humorous, but sad as well that a team of managers looking after a multi-billion dollar company are this focused on the appearance of 2 employees. Way to properly manage resources guys.

Anyway, that seems like a bit of a vent, but this situation was just too good to not share.
:D