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First Time
13 years ago
General
Of course, this is my first journal entry, but the question seems strange, the one I am asking myself, what should I put here?
I suppose it might seem redundant to the effect that this probably won't be read, but if any one person reading this finds it interesting, thank you.
A good way to start this may be to say that I am in a dark place at the moment. Nothing suicidal or any sort of questionable mental state like that, but more in a rather mind wrenching state that comes with being on the edge of adulthood. To be testing how close I can get to the threshold of independence. To be hours away from home, yearning for it, but at the same time dreading it. To be looking at my fellow peers while some take the plunge and others back away. The thoughts that occur to me are that I never really found someone to confide in. Someone to listen to my deepest troubles and tell me it will be okay. Sure I had close friends, but none made that most important connection.
As I reach closer and closer to that impending leap of faith, I find myself smiling, my chance to make a new me, and not lie about myself. How I actually feel.
It is rather funny that it is easier, and feels good, to let these words flow from my finger, but still too raw to voice to those close to me.
I suppose it might seem redundant to the effect that this probably won't be read, but if any one person reading this finds it interesting, thank you.
A good way to start this may be to say that I am in a dark place at the moment. Nothing suicidal or any sort of questionable mental state like that, but more in a rather mind wrenching state that comes with being on the edge of adulthood. To be testing how close I can get to the threshold of independence. To be hours away from home, yearning for it, but at the same time dreading it. To be looking at my fellow peers while some take the plunge and others back away. The thoughts that occur to me are that I never really found someone to confide in. Someone to listen to my deepest troubles and tell me it will be okay. Sure I had close friends, but none made that most important connection.
As I reach closer and closer to that impending leap of faith, I find myself smiling, my chance to make a new me, and not lie about myself. How I actually feel.
It is rather funny that it is easier, and feels good, to let these words flow from my finger, but still too raw to voice to those close to me.
