Yeah, STFU.....everyone can just go stuff it. A few people can drop dead and the rest can kiss my white, flat ass. The moment I get a hint of anything, anywhere else, I am grabbing a pup tent cheaply and leaving this fucking shithole. There's only one person who makes this home and he's leaving after AnthroCon. If I thought he'd survive it, I'd just pack up some crap, a pup tent and take my dog off into some woods somewhere and be a hermit. I'm about done with people forever, I swear.

I take care of my family and bend over backwards all the time for EVERYONE and the moment I expect a little thought to be slid my way, i'm a fucking bitch or an asshole and I should leave. Well i'm about ready too. I'd rather be on the streets than be where I am not wanted or respected. So...I'll shower in some public restroom...who cares. Can't get a job out there. There's nothing at all for me. I can't see, I can't do things fast...so I have little options for work. Plus, here...there's like, nothing except work that mexicans take because it's terrible or very hard with little ( unfair ) pay, or as even they call it 'mexican work' which is doing something and being paid in untaxed cash. I know they come here and are desperate for work, but it makes me sad that they allow themselves to be taken advantage of. :/

Or I can sit on a street corner and beg...but I don't want that sort of life. Yay, options. I hate my family and my fail options for life. Why do I even exist? I find myself asking this more and more often. Why? What purpose am I here for? being stupid and getting used. For watching people I love die....to feel that I have to mooch off others because I can't get a damned job because my stupid family uses me so much I can't do anything but play maid for them. Thank the gods I don't have to wipe their asses for them, it's about the only thing I do not do.

Yeah, rant....I feel a bit better now. Yay.