So today as i finished taking my test this afternoon around 1:15am i got done 45 min early. i walked up the stairs toward the ground level to leave the building and just froze with my hand on the door. So i turned around and walked all the way to the 3rd floor to see if any of my professors were in, and only 1 was. So i talked to him for about 5 min, then headed back down to the same door and froze again, just holding onto the push bar to leave. i stood there for 20 min until i just started tearing up, and got enough courage to open the door. Good thing there wasn't anyone on campus to really see me, cause i had tears in my eyes the whole way across campus.

by now im sure someone who is paying attention and is like what is wrong?.... well i froze cause i just realized that was it, the school and building i spent 3 years in, taking classes meeting new friends and having fun just ended with that last test. and i am not choosing to walk (because i made sure it was ok with my family, and my friends that i didnt walk.... plus its just my under grad, i plan to do my grad next year) so that was the closest thing that i had to a walk. i know what i did for 5 years total, i know the efforts and growing i did, and i was scared, excited and proud all at one and it just hit me....

so thats the new journal... prob wont make another for another year.... lol but meh im still alive :p