Did say in my last journal that my reason for liking being held explained a few other things too. Thought I'd go into deeper detail cause I had a mini realization while I typed the journal. I do like my own independence as an adult. I like the sense of freedom. But sometimes I feel utterly overwhelmed and I look to people who can help me hold on in the moments of weakness. It's in those moments I'm at my weakest though I also feel the most content. Whether it's resting in the arms of Christ when I struggle in my faith from time to time, or in the (for now) imaginary arms of my mate (or one of his friends when we're having a fight X3 Love ya Vay!), if I always have them I feel safe enough to let go and lay back because I can always get back up again! So to everyone who's shoulder I've cried on, irl or online, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. You guys have saved me more times than even I probably know. Without you, I might never have stood back up again.

In an unrelated thing, I think I also like the feeling of weightlessness I get being held too so could explain the most fun thing I liked about swimming X3