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How To Make A Popular Character
13 years ago
Disclaimer: no, I'm not so arrogant as to be serious with this. Read on.
1. Choose your species. Find something that interests you, that you feel looks cool or interesting, something that you wouldn't mind being associated with or something you've always been interested in
2. Fuck that, choose what everyone else is choosing like a fox or a shark or a butt weevil. What, you think you're special or something, trying to stand out?
3. Personalise it. Tattoos, piercings, bright eye-scorching neon colours, all are good ways to say 'LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, LOOK, LOOK, LOOOOOOK!' without having to type it every time.
4. Load it up with your fetish of choice. Hyperphile? Smack a dick on it so large that if it were ever to go limp, all the blood draining from it would make the main body explode in a shower of viscera and etcetera. Dick nipples? What the hey, I'll take five. Make sure two of them are inverted.
5. Now, time to give him a history. Of course he has a mysterious past and superpowers. What ones? Does an inexhaustible supply of inner turmoil count? No? Well, then, all of them. Weaknesses? Bah, he has no need for weaknesses or flaws, he's the son of a god who cavorted with a saucy butt weevil minx, fer pete's sake. Oh, and he's super-protective of all his friends and hates bullies. Tease his creator? Not enough showerings of unadulterated praise? Then he hates you.
6. Now time for a name. Use the following rule: if it's enough consonants to end a game of Scrabble immediately without using the triple word score, it's not enough. Never enough. Isn't that right, Kxnerokqu the Noogier of Bullies?
7. If your character is mystifyingly not winning you friends and conquering the internet, it must be because of him. You are blameless in this, I mean, why won't they like the guy you keep shoving about the place as the be-all and end-all of his kind?
8. To remedy this, remove all trace of him from your sight/site and then try again. After all, there's always more faves to earn. Faves are what makes the world go round and the most reliable validation of you as a human being.
9.When getting him drawn, always insist on retroactive alteration. After all, you paid for it, the artist is now your bitch until whatever arbitrarily-chosen date in the future you decide he is finally perfect...and then start again when the artist posts another pics of a superficially similar character. You can't have his horn be smaller than anyone else's, after all.
10. And finally:
Stop. This is not about popularity. This is not about creating characters that everyone loves, or winning the favour of influential people. This is about having an idea and giving it form, putting it from something you imagine to something you can see. On the way, you may make a few friends. You may make a few enemies. You will make no difference to more people than the former and latter combined. Your character is not a tool to make people love you. The problem is not your character (creation), the problem lies in your character (personality). Take a break. Relax. Have a nice cup of tea, then a walk. This is a niche little internet community. Is popularity in it really worth all the stress? Which leads me to my final, and most important rule:
11. None of this matters. Popularity in this group is like being the one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind. It's not something that makes you better than anyone else anywhere but here, if you choose to view yourself as above others. So just have fun in this site, make your character however you like, chat a bit, doodle a bit and remember: computers have a power-off button for a reason.
Oh, and the Olympics opening was just batshit crazy. I'll have to live-tweet things more often.
1. Choose your species. Find something that interests you, that you feel looks cool or interesting, something that you wouldn't mind being associated with or something you've always been interested in
2. Fuck that, choose what everyone else is choosing like a fox or a shark or a butt weevil. What, you think you're special or something, trying to stand out?
3. Personalise it. Tattoos, piercings, bright eye-scorching neon colours, all are good ways to say 'LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME, LOOK, LOOK, LOOOOOOK!' without having to type it every time.
4. Load it up with your fetish of choice. Hyperphile? Smack a dick on it so large that if it were ever to go limp, all the blood draining from it would make the main body explode in a shower of viscera and etcetera. Dick nipples? What the hey, I'll take five. Make sure two of them are inverted.
5. Now, time to give him a history. Of course he has a mysterious past and superpowers. What ones? Does an inexhaustible supply of inner turmoil count? No? Well, then, all of them. Weaknesses? Bah, he has no need for weaknesses or flaws, he's the son of a god who cavorted with a saucy butt weevil minx, fer pete's sake. Oh, and he's super-protective of all his friends and hates bullies. Tease his creator? Not enough showerings of unadulterated praise? Then he hates you.
6. Now time for a name. Use the following rule: if it's enough consonants to end a game of Scrabble immediately without using the triple word score, it's not enough. Never enough. Isn't that right, Kxnerokqu the Noogier of Bullies?
7. If your character is mystifyingly not winning you friends and conquering the internet, it must be because of him. You are blameless in this, I mean, why won't they like the guy you keep shoving about the place as the be-all and end-all of his kind?
8. To remedy this, remove all trace of him from your sight/site and then try again. After all, there's always more faves to earn. Faves are what makes the world go round and the most reliable validation of you as a human being.
9.When getting him drawn, always insist on retroactive alteration. After all, you paid for it, the artist is now your bitch until whatever arbitrarily-chosen date in the future you decide he is finally perfect...and then start again when the artist posts another pics of a superficially similar character. You can't have his horn be smaller than anyone else's, after all.
10. And finally:
Stop. This is not about popularity. This is not about creating characters that everyone loves, or winning the favour of influential people. This is about having an idea and giving it form, putting it from something you imagine to something you can see. On the way, you may make a few friends. You may make a few enemies. You will make no difference to more people than the former and latter combined. Your character is not a tool to make people love you. The problem is not your character (creation), the problem lies in your character (personality). Take a break. Relax. Have a nice cup of tea, then a walk. This is a niche little internet community. Is popularity in it really worth all the stress? Which leads me to my final, and most important rule:
11. None of this matters. Popularity in this group is like being the one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind. It's not something that makes you better than anyone else anywhere but here, if you choose to view yourself as above others. So just have fun in this site, make your character however you like, chat a bit, doodle a bit and remember: computers have a power-off button for a reason.
Oh, and the Olympics opening was just batshit crazy. I'll have to live-tweet things more often.
Before I was really in the community and all that (and had a char lol) my username was, surprise surprise, here4thep0rn
(That furry would get a lot of favourites, partially due to people actually liking the character, partially due to this Journal entry.)
Baby: "Mo .. mo ... moderation!"
BUT WHY WONT YOU DRAW ME 4 FREE GUIS BRB CHANGING SPECIES
From what Ive seen.
ANd the most popular are of course the Foxes. Just one inch or so above wolves.
I've always considered my character, Punk, as just an average Joe in the fandom. He's a (not exactly muscular) tiger morph with a white Mohawk. His superpowers are playing electric balalaika and guitar, and he sings in his own band of friends. Just an all-around nice guy. Umm... that's it.
You need to add this some where in there: "Show everyone your character, EVERYONE. Talk about how awesome he is, and alert them if your character approves of what they're doing. If you see a complete stranger's character sheet, tell them how great your and their character will be together as BFFs. Make sure you do this to every artist you see. You'll get free art now that your characters are besties by your own decree."
Oh wait, I know! One of his characters has two dicks AND four arms. That HAS to be it!
oh, the irony
Do you want to be well-liked too? Then maybe you should follow suit. I mean, I guess you can keep doing what you're doing, and keep wondering why you're the butt of every joke. But hey!
BWAHAHAHAAHA what do you think this journal is talking about? And it's not the first one.
Because the rule in the fandom, when you're popular, you're ALWAYS right.
Welcome to FA!
YOU
ARE
AN
ENORMOUS
TOWER
OF
DOUCHE
AND
NO
ONE
LIKES
YOU
BECAUSE
OF
THAT
I don't even see your point in replying my first comment, to be honest. What are you trying to achieve?
And what am I trying to achieve? To make you a better person, silly! You bitch and moan constantly about how NOBODY LIKES YOU WAH WAH WAH all the while completely ignoring your own childish tantrums and all the people who tell you, every goddamn time you make a drama journal, what you're doing wrong.
You're doing it wrong. You. It's alllll youuuuuuuuuuuu. Your fault. There is no secret conspiracy of popular people. There is only you, imagining that you're perfect and nice and kind and everyone else is just mean to you because they're more popular. Not how it works, KID.
Oh wait, don't respond. We all know the answer already.
And yes, we do know the answer: it's because you're a douche. He wouldn't have to make a journal like this if you weren't a douche, douche.
You really think he's the only one in this? Bitch please!
Okay, I'm not even going to get into how ridiculous that notion is. Instead, I'll just explain how it ACTUALLY works.
You are a drama whore. You live for attention, positive or negative, so you do whatever you can to make people pay attention to you, up to and including faking your own suicide. To normal people, this is hilarious. You're like a toddler holding your breath when you don't get your way. So when you act like a whiny child, people point and laugh. They link others to your drama journals and your rude comments and your abusive shouts, and people say "wow look at this dumbass."
Again: it's all you. You're the reason everyone laughs at you. There is no secret communication. Everything you do is public and everyone can see for themselves how poorly you behave.
If you think there are people secretly working together to make you unhappy, again, as I (AND OTHERS!) have said to you on multiple occasions: you have paranoid delusions and you need real psychological help. If you're not lying about where you live, you can get free psychiatric care through your national health service. You need this BEFORE it develops into something worse.
honestly i wouldn't even think about arguing about that
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV6nhDvXTWc
Oh well, at least it's true; I know I've certainly fallen for the 'bigger horn' pitfall, even though you weren't being serious. Thanks for that, found it to be an entertaining read. "Kxnerokqu the Noogier of Bullies," huh? He must be from Planet Hlyshti'msawsm.
There's absolutely no reason for me to want attention from everyone, a great deal of people I come across on FA creep me the fuck out. >.=.> But then I find the people that are in it for the same thing I am, fun and friends, and maybe a little bit of dirty art >.=.<
The saying I put on my page I like the most, I also hate the most: "Nothing sucks like success." It's true. When you become popular, you get a fanbase, an audience. And they start WANTING things. You get pushed and pulled in certain directions, either passively by the fav counts or comment counts of this vs. that, or actively by PMs or direct pointed critiques and suggestions to have more of this, less of that, improve something or add or subtract something else.
Suddenly, your site, your character, becomes something voted upon by committee.
That sucks. And the more successful it is, the more it sucks.
I can hardly imagine what it's like to be a popular artist with all the wants, needs, commissioner demands, requests, criticism - argh, I couldn't handle it - and therefore have no blame on the people who do bail out from FA, as I've bailed out at least twice myself.
I have a Draenei, Gorn, Sarnak as well as Tauren character, but none of them have received a lot of commission work. Plus a split-off fat Iksar account on
I'm basically waiting for FA folders (a DA feature) so I can just organize my characters on this site, and empty the fat iksar account out...
But popularity? Like war, what is it good for?
Absolutely nothing.
/Ghost Trick realization sound effect/
Haime? How come I did not see those four characters? (I saw a Gorn in your gallery, but...)
Sarnak is by Braford00005 and is a muscular, long-tailed scaly dragon/man type image.
Tauren would be the one underneath Unktehila being fed kawk while Unk holds his leash. By Rov.
and holyhell <3 Really, this journal is pretty much perfect :|
"word"...
nothing else describes how right on how many levels this is...