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My Theme Song
13 years ago
General
Hey guys. I felt like sharing what I felt like was my theme song, so here it is!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvFV4xoAmqc
This song holds a lot of meaning to me. I feel like it spells out my life and constant struggles really well. I could go REALLY in depth with my reasons and feelings for the lyrics/song in general, but I'll save that for later.
In a general: My life has always been a constant search for the truth and what's right. I constantly ask people for a better way of doing things or why they may view things a certain way as to gain better insight and experience. I love challenging things. All of this drove me to challenge myself as I was both devoutly Christian and a closeted gay. I searched the bible for answers and mentally tortured myself to make me not gay. Of course none of it worked, and I became incredibly unconfident and scared because of it.
After searching long enough in the bible I felt that I had found the answer. I believed I had found that God didn't actually have a vendetta against gay actions. I had my arguments, my references, my reasoning, and my proof. So I tried to share this knowledge and lots of other things I had learned and believed to other Christians in hopes that others like me could feel welcomed by them and be embraced by a comforting God rather than scared of some impending wrath and the social anguish that followed. I ended up being tossed out of churches, accused of manipulating the bible, told I was going to hell, and many many other things by countless Christians that I met and begged for sympathy and understanding.
I received no comfort and understanding from all but less than 5 Christians. So I stopped proclaiming Christianity as my religion, and I do not follow it's rules anymore. However I still to this day try to gently try to show Christians the reality of things, and hope that they'll understand me and my efforts. In truth, my efforts have been getting a lot more aggressive than they used to be. Probably from all of the abuse I've received... But it's something I'm still trying to fix. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just being an idiot trying to talk to them or if there really is some method to my patience... Or maybe I'm just torturing myself again for some unknown reason. In any case, this song makes me feel like whoever listens to it might have the opportunity to catch a glimpse of what I've been through, and maybe that experience will open their mind and they'll want to understand. It's a wish upon a star I know, but still this song comforts me in that way and I hold it very close to me.
Now, I know there are Christians who will be reading this and will be thinking "But all Christians aren't like that!" Yes I know, and if you're Christian I'm sure you aren't ether. But the majority of Christians I have met are like this and it is them that I seek to give understanding to, not you. You're already a few steps ahead of them so brownie points to you.
Anywho, now that my long life saga is over... Do any of you guys have theme songs that you feel like represent yourself? If you do feel free to share them and explain why they mean so much to you. You of course don't need to say so in as many words as I did, but if you want to I'll still read it. ^^
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvFV4xoAmqc
This song holds a lot of meaning to me. I feel like it spells out my life and constant struggles really well. I could go REALLY in depth with my reasons and feelings for the lyrics/song in general, but I'll save that for later.
In a general: My life has always been a constant search for the truth and what's right. I constantly ask people for a better way of doing things or why they may view things a certain way as to gain better insight and experience. I love challenging things. All of this drove me to challenge myself as I was both devoutly Christian and a closeted gay. I searched the bible for answers and mentally tortured myself to make me not gay. Of course none of it worked, and I became incredibly unconfident and scared because of it.
After searching long enough in the bible I felt that I had found the answer. I believed I had found that God didn't actually have a vendetta against gay actions. I had my arguments, my references, my reasoning, and my proof. So I tried to share this knowledge and lots of other things I had learned and believed to other Christians in hopes that others like me could feel welcomed by them and be embraced by a comforting God rather than scared of some impending wrath and the social anguish that followed. I ended up being tossed out of churches, accused of manipulating the bible, told I was going to hell, and many many other things by countless Christians that I met and begged for sympathy and understanding.
I received no comfort and understanding from all but less than 5 Christians. So I stopped proclaiming Christianity as my religion, and I do not follow it's rules anymore. However I still to this day try to gently try to show Christians the reality of things, and hope that they'll understand me and my efforts. In truth, my efforts have been getting a lot more aggressive than they used to be. Probably from all of the abuse I've received... But it's something I'm still trying to fix. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just being an idiot trying to talk to them or if there really is some method to my patience... Or maybe I'm just torturing myself again for some unknown reason. In any case, this song makes me feel like whoever listens to it might have the opportunity to catch a glimpse of what I've been through, and maybe that experience will open their mind and they'll want to understand. It's a wish upon a star I know, but still this song comforts me in that way and I hold it very close to me.
Now, I know there are Christians who will be reading this and will be thinking "But all Christians aren't like that!" Yes I know, and if you're Christian I'm sure you aren't ether. But the majority of Christians I have met are like this and it is them that I seek to give understanding to, not you. You're already a few steps ahead of them so brownie points to you.
Anywho, now that my long life saga is over... Do any of you guys have theme songs that you feel like represent yourself? If you do feel free to share them and explain why they mean so much to you. You of course don't need to say so in as many words as I did, but if you want to I'll still read it. ^^
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gOn7KQJMnI
For me I see this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGCsyshUU-A
I want to help all people who needs help and I like to do it, but sometimes I feel the dark side in my heart, too...
Probably the closest thing to a 'religion' that makes any sense for me any more is the Tao and/or Buddhism, as neither require you to believe in a specific 'God', they're more of a way to move in harmony with the world and how it works.