It surprised me too. But according to a recent study, two-toed sloth males keep a harem of multiple females. Most breeding sloths will father offspring with at least two. Considering this is an animal that needs a week to take a poop, the scientific world wasn’t expecting these slower than mud creatures that grow moss on their bodies to be able to keep up with more than one partner.

Not only can they keep up, but they fight for their ladies, as they found males with ‘considerable facial scars’. I have a hard time imagining this battle. If you’ve ever watched a sloth move then you have an idea of how freakishly slow these guys are. So then, how hard would it be to dodge a sloth parry? But if you’re as super slow as your attacker, would it be like fighting in bullet time – but their bullet time would be real time? Perhaps the potential pussy brings out the speed in them -- spending their entire lives in sloth, awaiting the time when they have to defend their harem and BOOM faster than lightning attacks?

Of course if a male doesn’t get to his female in time, she’s going to sleep around, because when you only move around 14 feet a day you can’t count on the first male you see to be the best of the bunch. Lady sloths keep their options open.

Sloths are now that much cooler in my book. :p