My grandmother will be going in for surgery in about 5 hours... It's one of those surgeries. The term tends to be "Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea."

If she doesn't have the surgery, shes going to die... probably in a way she would not want. but shes.. not a good candidate. She has very weak lungs... and putting her unconscious is necessary.. but horribly, horribly dangerous...

I spoke to her on the phone a moment ago....... she was.. indirect about it..... but basically she was telling me goodbye..

The surgery starts in 5 hours... I'm going to try to sleep, I just got off of work... I want to be there..... but I can't be there...I can't think about this anymore... I hope I have good news later...