FA+
Shop
Embracing poopularity
13 years ago
MY WORK IS CRAP, DELETING GALLERY, BBL WHEN I CAN DRAW.
...
No, not really. That would be dumb. But sometimes its hard to shake the feeling that I'm spinning my wheels and nobody cares when it comes to my art.
No, that's not it either.
More specifically, its hard to shake the feeling that it is somehow important to have people care about what I draw. It isn't. Of course every artist wants to be seen and acknowledged. But if I'm not drawing for my own damn enjoyment, I might as well not be drawing at all. So there.
Still... sometimes I just feel like my art is that kid in high school, the one sitting on the edge of the table, that gets all the jokes, but people just give him the blank stare if he dares to laugh with them or contribute his own. :p
I think my main problem is that I think I'm going to meet people by doing art. (lol) I just need to go back to drawing simply because I just don't give a fuck, its time to create my own world.
...
No, not really. That would be dumb. But sometimes its hard to shake the feeling that I'm spinning my wheels and nobody cares when it comes to my art.
No, that's not it either.
More specifically, its hard to shake the feeling that it is somehow important to have people care about what I draw. It isn't. Of course every artist wants to be seen and acknowledged. But if I'm not drawing for my own damn enjoyment, I might as well not be drawing at all. So there.
Still... sometimes I just feel like my art is that kid in high school, the one sitting on the edge of the table, that gets all the jokes, but people just give him the blank stare if he dares to laugh with them or contribute his own. :p
I think my main problem is that I think I'm going to meet people by doing art. (lol) I just need to go back to drawing simply because I just don't give a fuck, its time to create my own world.
Sometimes one just has to get these things out. I see immensely popular artists plop out similar despairing journals on a regular basis. I usually hold back my own sentiments because I know such ruminations will get me nowhere, but it felt good to spew them forth in a public way this once.
Most artists wish their work has more exposure/appreciation, the ones who truly get enough are the ones that shut themselves away, in the end, and its kinda sad for everyone.
My first thought is: Is this about art, or is this about the social connections that one gets through art?
Obviously some very successful artists can be unhappy, and crap ones can just have fun and be happy, so I think it's a whole seperate realm of...stuff that is making people happy or unhappy. And that the answer probably isn't to be found (at least not directly) in being better or more successful.
Not to disservice the fans on my fetish account, on which I get some very kind and much appreciated comments, surprisingly enough. I'm pretty passionate about that stuff, as weird as it is, and its been a blessing to find others that feel the same. Its just always a weird position to blurt out to my family or coworkers, "I've been drawing like crazy!" but have nothing to show for it- little I can show to them proudly. They always wonder what happened to Kt Kat and I end up feeling quite guilty.
But all that aside, you are completely right. My goal is to disconnect my social needs from my artistic needs, and see any social benefits coming from art as a bonus instead of a result. Its possible I need to draw more and post less. I really love watching my comment box accumulate when posting something new, but I still get plenty of personal satisfaction from drawing. :3