My sister was declared braindead about a good couple hours ago. she's gone. I didn't want this to be the closer on all this but I guess that's just how it has to be. I'm not sure how I will be able to handle this... I really don't...

I'm shaken to say the least, I haven't been doing any drawing or anything really... I've just been pacing... I've been spending as much time with friends and family as I can... it's the least I can do to take my mind off of it. that's all I can do. I still can't believe all this has happened... I just can't...

just earlier today, I stood by her bed, holding her unconscious hand and talked to her for over 45 minutes. that's all I could do. I pored all I had left in her there... knowing not much time was left. I see it went nowhere... and if it did... I will never know in this life. I will forever miss her, I will have plenty of time to do such. I doubt I will ever forget... I tend never to. I will probably never see most of her friends again after this... never had the chance to meet them really... I'll probably never see her boyfriend again ether, he's not taking this well... can't blame him...

all I can do now is move on... easier said then done of course... harder when I'll have to watch my Mom and Dad struggle to do the same... sometimes I just feel I should convince myself she just went on a long trip, and she will comeback someday... I could always say I'll meet her in heaven... that's always a calming thought for the religious. I'm not really myself, but this is where any would come in...

she was 22... RIP