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Giving myself permission to suck
13 years ago
Thought that night get someone's attention. :)
I was at FurFright last weekend. After not attending a convention in 5 years I actually liked this one and will go again next year. One of the activities my friend Netasha wanted me to try was an art trade panel. The goal was to draw a baseball-card sized badge of another persons' fursona. I hammed it up well enough until the actual drawing part came. From there, I literally freaked out.
The person whose fursona I was supposed to model my drawing from had an *incredible* badge. It was clean, detailed, and a great representation of the character. I didn't recognize the artist, or likely couldn't at the time because from there, my ability to draw anything was frozen in place. Sketches produced nothing usable. Time was running out. I started to sweat and fidget. At first, I thought the panel was full of accomplished artists who just wanted a fun exercise. For the first time I actually felt anxious enough to just quit, get up and leave the room at that instant. If Netasha wasn't there to talk to me outside the room, I likely would have. Thanks again, Nash. :)
Most that know (or knew) me in FA are aware of my digital coloring from years ago. After a few years of doing it, it was relatively good, to the point that I actually looked competent. :) When it came (or comes to) to drawing, however, abilities don't even come close to it. There's some potential, but I usually want to throw the pad out the window, or spend so much time trying to "perfect" a drawing that it's no fun anymore. AlexSpastic - someone bless him - tried teaching me a while back. One of the things he would often say was to "loosen up your lines." or "don't be so quick to ink your lines". At the time, I just didn't try to understand what he was trying to say. I badly wanted my drawings to look like his, or his friends. They had to look like Max Blackrabbit or gNAW, or Aja Williams. I wanted the drawings to match the digital paintings I could do. Drawing wasn't enjoyable, and for the most part, I stopped. Worse, I stopped coloring because I felt like I was bound to fail that, too. Life caught up with me and I haven't colored anything in 2-3 years.
This particular video was mentioned in Lifehacker today. It's partially why I decided to post a journal here. Even if it doesn't change my current situation, for a few new artists that really enjoy drawing, but feel discouraged by what they're producing now, it is something to put your current work in perspective.
http://vimeo.com/24715531
The greatest part of the video is how it captures the essence of what I'm feeling, and what you may feel about your work. You intrinsically know it can look better, but you have to "suck" first and keep going for that to happen.
I've known of the furry genre since the early years of college, and unbeknownst to most of my friends in current life, I still enjoy the drawings that come from it. The video is basically what friends have tried to tell me for years, back when I drew for fun. Never give up, keep working on it, and work a lot. It's okay to suck. :)
I was at FurFright last weekend. After not attending a convention in 5 years I actually liked this one and will go again next year. One of the activities my friend Netasha wanted me to try was an art trade panel. The goal was to draw a baseball-card sized badge of another persons' fursona. I hammed it up well enough until the actual drawing part came. From there, I literally freaked out.
The person whose fursona I was supposed to model my drawing from had an *incredible* badge. It was clean, detailed, and a great representation of the character. I didn't recognize the artist, or likely couldn't at the time because from there, my ability to draw anything was frozen in place. Sketches produced nothing usable. Time was running out. I started to sweat and fidget. At first, I thought the panel was full of accomplished artists who just wanted a fun exercise. For the first time I actually felt anxious enough to just quit, get up and leave the room at that instant. If Netasha wasn't there to talk to me outside the room, I likely would have. Thanks again, Nash. :)
Most that know (or knew) me in FA are aware of my digital coloring from years ago. After a few years of doing it, it was relatively good, to the point that I actually looked competent. :) When it came (or comes to) to drawing, however, abilities don't even come close to it. There's some potential, but I usually want to throw the pad out the window, or spend so much time trying to "perfect" a drawing that it's no fun anymore. AlexSpastic - someone bless him - tried teaching me a while back. One of the things he would often say was to "loosen up your lines." or "don't be so quick to ink your lines". At the time, I just didn't try to understand what he was trying to say. I badly wanted my drawings to look like his, or his friends. They had to look like Max Blackrabbit or gNAW, or Aja Williams. I wanted the drawings to match the digital paintings I could do. Drawing wasn't enjoyable, and for the most part, I stopped. Worse, I stopped coloring because I felt like I was bound to fail that, too. Life caught up with me and I haven't colored anything in 2-3 years.
This particular video was mentioned in Lifehacker today. It's partially why I decided to post a journal here. Even if it doesn't change my current situation, for a few new artists that really enjoy drawing, but feel discouraged by what they're producing now, it is something to put your current work in perspective.
http://vimeo.com/24715531
The greatest part of the video is how it captures the essence of what I'm feeling, and what you may feel about your work. You intrinsically know it can look better, but you have to "suck" first and keep going for that to happen.
I've known of the furry genre since the early years of college, and unbeknownst to most of my friends in current life, I still enjoy the drawings that come from it. The video is basically what friends have tried to tell me for years, back when I drew for fun. Never give up, keep working on it, and work a lot. It's okay to suck. :)
But seriously, I've never seen you as a "sucky" artist at all. You will always be one of my best friends first, and then I remember, HEY, You GOT TALENT! And that Ozborne girl isn't even in the room!
We all have to start somewhere, and I have seen people draw for YEARS and still look like a 5 year old created it, but you are way beyond that to begin with!
Keep it up! We will have more fun art times together, and hopefully you won't feel intimidated as much >.< Remember how much fun the Art Book of Doom was? We just need a couple more shots like that and you will be golden. Nobody can do what you do. NOBODY! No matter how hard they try! Be proud of that!