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still having relationship issues.......
13 years ago
General
MEW, minou gives you fuzzy kitty hugs!!
Stalker -_-looking at mah stuffs. Yeah I see you!
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Now I return you to the regularly scheduled journal 
as some as you may know, me and mate have not been doing so well.
i had a talk with him and explained that i wasn't happy with his anger and how mean he's being, and so did my mother but things havn't gotten better....in fact theyve gotten worse.....he's always angry about something, no matter how hard i try to make him happy. it's depressing knowing you can't bring happiness to your mate. tonite he actually scared me, he was acting crazy, not good crazy like wtf is wrong with you crazy, at work and i just didn't know what to do. he always complains that nothing in his life is good, life sucks i hate my life blah blah blah and I'm like, how the hell am i supposed to feel? i'm a part of your life so i must suck then. 2 years and his anxiety and depression have only gotten worse......he's drinking now. he's got it in his mind that if he's upset or sad he should drink to make him feel better......i know what alchol can do to someone, everyone in my family, cept my parents, are alcoholics. so i'm getting worried, if he's drinking now, how long will it be until he goes back to weed and forgets to tell me one day and kills me because i'm deathly allergic to it. i don't want to be in this situation, and in my heart i can feel my love for him slipping.
and on the other side of the coin me and the other guy are becoming extremely close and i am falling for him so hard. he reminds me how to be happy and enjoy life and what it's like to be with someone who cares....he's kind and caring, and the way he talks to me makes me feel so important to him. we like the exact same music, which is a problem with my current mate who absolutely refuses to listen to my music at all which makes me sad because it's a HUGE part of who i am and i can't share that him. however the other guy and i can sit in the car and sing the songs together because he loves it as much as i do. he's gorgeous and smart. he's been through some pretty horrible hardships like my current mate yet he isn't bitter about it. at least not when i'm around, he lets it go so we can just enjoy each others company. he's showing me what it's like to truely enjoy life, to have someone care about you and to spend time with. i love the fact that he's willing to sit and draw with me even though he's not the best artist, he still tries so hard.my current mate wants nothing to do with it.....sigh this guy is just so awesome to me...
sigh i'm reaching the point of no return, where i choose one and lose the other forever :(
i had a talk with him and explained that i wasn't happy with his anger and how mean he's being, and so did my mother but things havn't gotten better....in fact theyve gotten worse.....he's always angry about something, no matter how hard i try to make him happy. it's depressing knowing you can't bring happiness to your mate. tonite he actually scared me, he was acting crazy, not good crazy like wtf is wrong with you crazy, at work and i just didn't know what to do. he always complains that nothing in his life is good, life sucks i hate my life blah blah blah and I'm like, how the hell am i supposed to feel? i'm a part of your life so i must suck then. 2 years and his anxiety and depression have only gotten worse......he's drinking now. he's got it in his mind that if he's upset or sad he should drink to make him feel better......i know what alchol can do to someone, everyone in my family, cept my parents, are alcoholics. so i'm getting worried, if he's drinking now, how long will it be until he goes back to weed and forgets to tell me one day and kills me because i'm deathly allergic to it. i don't want to be in this situation, and in my heart i can feel my love for him slipping.
and on the other side of the coin me and the other guy are becoming extremely close and i am falling for him so hard. he reminds me how to be happy and enjoy life and what it's like to be with someone who cares....he's kind and caring, and the way he talks to me makes me feel so important to him. we like the exact same music, which is a problem with my current mate who absolutely refuses to listen to my music at all which makes me sad because it's a HUGE part of who i am and i can't share that him. however the other guy and i can sit in the car and sing the songs together because he loves it as much as i do. he's gorgeous and smart. he's been through some pretty horrible hardships like my current mate yet he isn't bitter about it. at least not when i'm around, he lets it go so we can just enjoy each others company. he's showing me what it's like to truely enjoy life, to have someone care about you and to spend time with. i love the fact that he's willing to sit and draw with me even though he's not the best artist, he still tries so hard.my current mate wants nothing to do with it.....sigh this guy is just so awesome to me...
sigh i'm reaching the point of no return, where i choose one and lose the other forever :(
i hope so too
But the point really is, if your current relationship is going downhill, it "would" be time to start looking into new possibilities. From what I read, this other guy seems like the perfect match for you. I believe you should have a sit down with your mother and discuss what you should do, because she's someone you can trust to send you down the right path. In my opinion I would look for a (good) non drinking day to talk with your current mate about whats going on, and basically tell him that your unhappy. Pour out your feelings to him to try and break through this barrier, or cage that he's putting himself behind.
and the sad thing is i have sat him down and told him that i'm unhappy and he didn't change one little bit. he acted like a freaking psycho last night and scred the hell out of me and now he's trying to be sweet cuz he knows i'm mad at him, he always does that but he doesn't change.
i don't live with him either, but he desperatly wants me to live with him........just so we can do it every single night and i'm like seriously?
my feelings for him are depleting very quickly