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My Stand up Comedy Attempt
13 years ago
***Warning, on naughty word in the last joke. Don't say i didn't warn you***
Hello Everyone, tonight i'm going to try something different. I'm going to attempt some Comedy, so can i ask are there any Minners tonight? *works better read out* No not that kind, i want the kind with the shovels to help me dig out of the hole i'll be digging myself into tonight.
The Worst time to have a Heart Attack is when playing Charades, Especially if your team is bad at Guessing.
I Always prefered to play Cluedo backwards, start with who killed who with what, and work out why all care.
I never understood why in Monopoly you land on Free Parking and you get money. It doesn't happen in real life. There's no bag of money when i find a parking spot with no meter or double yellow lines!
K'nex was one of Lego's Rivals, They obviously didn't connect with the public enough!
Twister is a game that should be just for kids, well maybe adults could play, but their version should come with a free laywer for the Sexualy Harrassment case that comes after playing!
A simple game of Marbles is always fun, untill you start to lose them.
Turtlewax is a Wax for cars, though i do wonder if they tested it out on animals 1st.
Isn't Pin the tail on the donkey just making a game of putting Eeyore's tail back on?
If spiderman was like a real spider, surely he's never be able to get out the bath. Also he'd also have a fewa of newspapers, which as he works for a newspaper, doesn't make sence.
Isn't Guess who just an much easier game of 20Q?
And at Long lasy, my last joke of the Night
People Say that Swearing is showing that you have the Smallest of vocaularys, however i know for a fact that, Even the most intelligent people enjoy a good Fuck now and then!
Thankyou Everyone, you've been Great
Hello Everyone, tonight i'm going to try something different. I'm going to attempt some Comedy, so can i ask are there any Minners tonight? *works better read out* No not that kind, i want the kind with the shovels to help me dig out of the hole i'll be digging myself into tonight.
The Worst time to have a Heart Attack is when playing Charades, Especially if your team is bad at Guessing.
I Always prefered to play Cluedo backwards, start with who killed who with what, and work out why all care.
I never understood why in Monopoly you land on Free Parking and you get money. It doesn't happen in real life. There's no bag of money when i find a parking spot with no meter or double yellow lines!
K'nex was one of Lego's Rivals, They obviously didn't connect with the public enough!
Twister is a game that should be just for kids, well maybe adults could play, but their version should come with a free laywer for the Sexualy Harrassment case that comes after playing!
A simple game of Marbles is always fun, untill you start to lose them.
Turtlewax is a Wax for cars, though i do wonder if they tested it out on animals 1st.
Isn't Pin the tail on the donkey just making a game of putting Eeyore's tail back on?
If spiderman was like a real spider, surely he's never be able to get out the bath. Also he'd also have a fewa of newspapers, which as he works for a newspaper, doesn't make sence.
Isn't Guess who just an much easier game of 20Q?
And at Long lasy, my last joke of the Night
People Say that Swearing is showing that you have the Smallest of vocaularys, however i know for a fact that, Even the most intelligent people enjoy a good Fuck now and then!
Thankyou Everyone, you've been Great
You don't get any money for landing on free parking though, you only get money for passing "Go".
You should try to tie the jokes together a bit rather than just a collection of one-liners - try to make a story out of it that the jokes will fit into.
Very brave of you to get on stage!
Well, was still a bit nervous, but was good to try!