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Good Bye CA. ::sigh:: I'm Moving on...
17 years ago
General
Welcome to Balto's Journal
Since FA has been down I have not been able to get this news out (unless you are linked to my Live journal then you already know) so let me let all of you know now.
Mid July I made a decision to leave San Diego CA and move to Irving TX. This decision has not been an easy one for me but it was one I needed to make as a career move. My Job recently promoted me to a Subject Matter Expert for Foreclosure and I am going to be the office Trainer for the Fort Worth office they are opening in TX. I had debated taking the job for a while because there were a lot of things I thought id be leaving behind. However recent turn of events and recent conclusions have lead to my ultimate decision that it would be best for me to move on and start my life over.
A lot of the "Friends" I thought I had were mostly an illusion on my part. Upon announcing I may be uprooting my life and moving out of the state, no one really seemed to care, but I suppose that only made my decision even easier. Not only that, I have also recently broken ties with my immediate family for personal reasons I don't wish to go into here, but those of you who know my family situation know why I have the issues I do with relationships. (and I'm sorry if that has cause some of you to choose not to be friends with me)
Any how as I stated in my Live Journal. I leave my home of 32 years (yeah Im a grey muzzle) with many regrets of the mistakes I've made. I'm sorry if i sometimes seem to be withdrawn or unsocial but those of you who know me knows its not because I'm antisocial or anything like that, its just that as a kid I've been through so much abuse with my family that it sorta messed me up. (Hence why i've broken ties with my family) This move removed me from the reach of my family who I have told I never wish to see them again. I've concluded early on I have no need for a family since they cause me more grief than joy.
These past few weeks i've been though some extremely stressful times of hurt and loss in my life and what helped me make my decision to move easier was when all this happened I suddenly realized when I needed a shoulder to cry on, there was none for me. I guess every one has their own problems so I shouldn't be surprised. For me, I finally came to the realization that CA held nothing for me anymore except heartache and bad memories, and I had no reason to return,since I really didn't have a home, family or friend to come back to. I suppose I really have no one to blame but myself. I just fooled my self into thinking that people care. its been my experience that unless some one has something to gain by being a friend they ultimately don't care. Harsh, I know but it seems to be true.
Having said that I know I have probably confused some of you by how I respond to things. I just have an extremely difficult time expressing my self for that I have many regrets for the friends that could have been. I suppose I don't blame people for not caring weather I stay or go, but for those of you that know me you know I care very much for my friends, and some of you will never know how much your friendship has meant to me, tho I may not hold any special place in your heart , you were always close to mine. I'm sorry that I have not been able to express my friendship as clearly to you as you have to me. I only hope that where ever I end up I don't repeat the same mistakes i've made here. I say good bye to the ones I knew in CA and I wish you all the best. With that I say good bye to all the "friends" I knew in CA and good bye to my past. May the future for me hold more joy in TX that it did in CA and with a heavy heart I say good bye.
- Balto
PS: If any of you live in the Irving / Fort Worth / Dallas TX Area let me know. Ill also be at the "Furry Fiesta" con in the Dallas TX area in Feb. Yeah I also know its Hot there.. god TX is no place for a snow dog like me ... *faints*
Mid July I made a decision to leave San Diego CA and move to Irving TX. This decision has not been an easy one for me but it was one I needed to make as a career move. My Job recently promoted me to a Subject Matter Expert for Foreclosure and I am going to be the office Trainer for the Fort Worth office they are opening in TX. I had debated taking the job for a while because there were a lot of things I thought id be leaving behind. However recent turn of events and recent conclusions have lead to my ultimate decision that it would be best for me to move on and start my life over.
A lot of the "Friends" I thought I had were mostly an illusion on my part. Upon announcing I may be uprooting my life and moving out of the state, no one really seemed to care, but I suppose that only made my decision even easier. Not only that, I have also recently broken ties with my immediate family for personal reasons I don't wish to go into here, but those of you who know my family situation know why I have the issues I do with relationships. (and I'm sorry if that has cause some of you to choose not to be friends with me)
Any how as I stated in my Live Journal. I leave my home of 32 years (yeah Im a grey muzzle) with many regrets of the mistakes I've made. I'm sorry if i sometimes seem to be withdrawn or unsocial but those of you who know me knows its not because I'm antisocial or anything like that, its just that as a kid I've been through so much abuse with my family that it sorta messed me up. (Hence why i've broken ties with my family) This move removed me from the reach of my family who I have told I never wish to see them again. I've concluded early on I have no need for a family since they cause me more grief than joy.
These past few weeks i've been though some extremely stressful times of hurt and loss in my life and what helped me make my decision to move easier was when all this happened I suddenly realized when I needed a shoulder to cry on, there was none for me. I guess every one has their own problems so I shouldn't be surprised. For me, I finally came to the realization that CA held nothing for me anymore except heartache and bad memories, and I had no reason to return,since I really didn't have a home, family or friend to come back to. I suppose I really have no one to blame but myself. I just fooled my self into thinking that people care. its been my experience that unless some one has something to gain by being a friend they ultimately don't care. Harsh, I know but it seems to be true.
Having said that I know I have probably confused some of you by how I respond to things. I just have an extremely difficult time expressing my self for that I have many regrets for the friends that could have been. I suppose I don't blame people for not caring weather I stay or go, but for those of you that know me you know I care very much for my friends, and some of you will never know how much your friendship has meant to me, tho I may not hold any special place in your heart , you were always close to mine. I'm sorry that I have not been able to express my friendship as clearly to you as you have to me. I only hope that where ever I end up I don't repeat the same mistakes i've made here. I say good bye to the ones I knew in CA and I wish you all the best. With that I say good bye to all the "friends" I knew in CA and good bye to my past. May the future for me hold more joy in TX that it did in CA and with a heavy heart I say good bye.
- Balto
PS: If any of you live in the Irving / Fort Worth / Dallas TX Area let me know. Ill also be at the "Furry Fiesta" con in the Dallas TX area in Feb. Yeah I also know its Hot there.. god TX is no place for a snow dog like me ... *faints*
Even with your move (and believe me I wish I could leave this state - California's a mess) I hope you take the time, when time permits, to keep in touch here at FA.
Good luck Balto!
It's too bad that the art jam was canceled. Hope to see you at cons, at least.
i hope well be able to see you at RF and FC too though! hopefully your promotion means better hours too?
I know you probably still hate me for what i did to you guys, and youve got the right, its taking me a whole lot of bread to post this right now.
~ just wanted to let you know im wishing you all the luck in the world on your journey, i hope things go as smooth as they can possibly go for you, and that you meet many new friend in your new town. I am sure there are alot of people here that are very sad to see you go, and if they are not, then it is their loss. you are a swell guy and i kick myself everyday for throwing our friendship away because of my selfishness.
just wanted to let you know, best of luck to you!
I first learned of the move from your roommates. I'm genuinely sorry to hear about all the negative things going on in the background. I hope all of the moving stress turns out to be worth it and that you're happier in the end.
My best wishes to you!