Already seeing a lot of people I haven't seen in a while here at FC. Can't help but be reminded of the friends I've lost or lost touch with over the years. I'm doing better than I was at the end of 2010, but I've got a long way to go before I'm back to where I was when I lived in Berkeley. I'm so lonely sometimes, but I know I won't find someone to share my life with until I've got a life to share... for now I guess I've got to go it alone... nobody else can really help me.

I know I'm not happy with where I am right now, or even who I am right now. I just wish I knew who I wanted to be. Honestly, sometimes I wish I had somebody to tell me what to do... what to be... what to want. But that's not a reasonable thing to ask of someone else. Nobody's going to take care of me, as much as I might want that. I still need to figure out how to take care of myself.

I feel so small, and weak, and dumb. It's like I don't even remember the strength I used to have. I know everything changes... but can I ever change back into the loveable person I used to be?