Hey so...I haven't really updated in a long while. Figure now is as best a time as ever to put my thoughts and feelings down I guess. So I guess a recap is in order and I'll try to keep it short. Well back in October I moved in with my current GF. and that's been alright. We get along well enough and things generally seem good. Just...neither of us are really happy . But anyways, It's been really weird, I can't hang out with certain people I used to really care about or had lots of fun with and some of them still tug at my heart strings. My mother is slowly more more and alienating me from her life and putting more blame and disappointment on me when she can and so is her new husband. However I'm finding my brother and I'd friendship getting stronger and whatnot, he's getting the same shit from them too except he still has to live with them. I'm working in the Housekeeping dept now at the hotel where I work at until the tourist season starts back up so I can start my real job again. But I dunno, things just don't seem good anymore. now my gf's parents are pissed off at me because they're being fucking asshats over absolutely nothing. I'm out of money right now and so food is even tighter than money. I started school again and that's been cool so far. Let's just hope it all works out. But on a lighter note I've met a lot of really sweet and wonderful people this past year. People who helped me out in unthinkable way out of unthinkable sadness and sorrow and I will forever cherish them for it. Bt, just as I'm making more friends, I'm also losing some it feels like. More people I kept close and greatly cared for or enjoyed their company are moving soon or have moved already to different places and it kinda sucks....I feel like I'm being left behind again like when all my 8th grade friends moved on to high school and I lost contact with them by the time I got to the 8th grade. I dunno it just sucks. However I'm very thankful and fortunate to have my loving gf. I greatly admire appreciate and love her, even if she doesn't believe me and only see's my faults sometimes. I'm grateful for my job and my friends and co workers I've met and mad in such a short amount of time that have helped me grow as a person and in a way learn to smile again after being in such a dark hole for so long it seems. I just hope all of this will get worked out because right now my whole world seems to be falling apart and I'm not entirely sure what to do or who to even talk to. I'm scared, I'm lonely, and I feel unhappy. But at least I can say I don't regret any of my choices I've made in a long time or regret the people I've allowed to come in or come back into my life. Well that's my rant for tonight.