FA+
Shop
Mourning
12 years ago
I have given condolences several times here on FA to people who had experienced a loss in their lives. But now I realize that one cannot truly grasp such pain until oneself has lost someone close.
My grandma lived with us since I was little. She was like a mother to me since my parents were away working most of the time. Being a piano teacher, she taught me how to play since I was 6 years old, I think I was her student for 14 full years. We had so many great times together, she took me in her car, cruising around, we had picknicks and breakfasts, I remember her Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte, her strawberry ice cream and her delicious chocolate cake. She read the homework vocabulary list to me while I was writing it down, then she would test me. And I taught her how to pronounce the English, French and Spanish words.
But she had a hard time, too, due to an unhealable illness, her body became weaker and more and more paralyzed, it was a very slow, but unstoppable process. It began with her feet, first she needed a stick, then a rollator, then a wheelchair. At the beginning I helped her with shopping, later I did it all myself. About five years ago, she moved to a nursing home, because she could not even move herself from / into the wheelchair and was dependent on someone to help her. It was fortunate that she could take her piano there and continue to play, at least for some time. I remember us playing scrabble (and inventing new words), on warm days we went to the cafe, or into nature, visiting the chicken, where I picked blackberries for her. In the last years however, her sight and hearing became very impaired, she wouldn't go outside anymore, conversation was difficult, and it was nearly impossible to play the piano any longer, though I printed very large scores for her. I regret that I gave her visits rather rarely in that last time.
One week ago then, she was brought to the hospital because of an infection that gave her difficulties to breathe. After some days, they said that she was better and would be able to return soon. Because of my studies, I wasn't at home, and I didn't plan to go immediately.
And then, on Friday, after having spoken a last time with my parents, she died. Apparently the paralysis had reached her breathing, and she didn't want to be connected to respiration devices for the rest of her life.
Today, I have said goodbye to her in the morgue. But it wasn't really her anymore there, only the empty shell. Her spirit has left long ago, flying to God.
I will play some pieces of Bach at her funeral that she once taught me. My passion for this master's music as well as my ability to play is my greatest heritage from her.
Goodbye, grandma. Your suffering has finally ended.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQtLgjZCEbQ
I thank all those who eased my pain with their comments, you mean a lot to me.
My grandma lived with us since I was little. She was like a mother to me since my parents were away working most of the time. Being a piano teacher, she taught me how to play since I was 6 years old, I think I was her student for 14 full years. We had so many great times together, she took me in her car, cruising around, we had picknicks and breakfasts, I remember her Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte, her strawberry ice cream and her delicious chocolate cake. She read the homework vocabulary list to me while I was writing it down, then she would test me. And I taught her how to pronounce the English, French and Spanish words.
But she had a hard time, too, due to an unhealable illness, her body became weaker and more and more paralyzed, it was a very slow, but unstoppable process. It began with her feet, first she needed a stick, then a rollator, then a wheelchair. At the beginning I helped her with shopping, later I did it all myself. About five years ago, she moved to a nursing home, because she could not even move herself from / into the wheelchair and was dependent on someone to help her. It was fortunate that she could take her piano there and continue to play, at least for some time. I remember us playing scrabble (and inventing new words), on warm days we went to the cafe, or into nature, visiting the chicken, where I picked blackberries for her. In the last years however, her sight and hearing became very impaired, she wouldn't go outside anymore, conversation was difficult, and it was nearly impossible to play the piano any longer, though I printed very large scores for her. I regret that I gave her visits rather rarely in that last time.
One week ago then, she was brought to the hospital because of an infection that gave her difficulties to breathe. After some days, they said that she was better and would be able to return soon. Because of my studies, I wasn't at home, and I didn't plan to go immediately.
And then, on Friday, after having spoken a last time with my parents, she died. Apparently the paralysis had reached her breathing, and she didn't want to be connected to respiration devices for the rest of her life.
Today, I have said goodbye to her in the morgue. But it wasn't really her anymore there, only the empty shell. Her spirit has left long ago, flying to God.
I will play some pieces of Bach at her funeral that she once taught me. My passion for this master's music as well as my ability to play is my greatest heritage from her.
Goodbye, grandma. Your suffering has finally ended.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQtLgjZCEbQ
I thank all those who eased my pain with their comments, you mean a lot to me.
Sounds like you made her very happy.