the last four years I have completely undone everything I had worked my whole life towards. this year what I should be doing is graduating college, am I? no, because I was stupide and got married way to stinking early in life, moved half way cross-country, re-gained all the weight I works SO hard to loose and now I'm stuck. stuck in a low paying hourly job, with a guy who says he loves me but I honestly don't think he really does... life has just been such a let down... I-I just want to go home, go home to my mom and see my little sister succeed where I have failed, I can only pray she continues on this path, please brooke, you can do it! do what I can't.

I really just needed to vent, and I guess cry a little bit... just guess I'm tired of crying myself to sleep every night. I HATE feeling this, I hate feeling, it's such a pain. I make excuses all the time I guess we all do but, I miss so much back home, even going back for a visit it's not even close to the same. everything is too different now, I'm so tired of living this way of not having a home, of not having any love, of just being. love you all, my friends and my watchers, sorry for such a depressing first journal entry.