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Putting everything on hiatus for a while.
12 years ago
yes, you read that right, I'm just stopping everything art-wise and in some other aspects of my life because I need to take better care of myself, I realize. I've gained 30 lbs in less than a year, I've been having severe migraines and even something growing out of the back of my head to put it literally, and my social life is non-existent besides the Internet.
I don't know when, or if at all, that I will come back but for now I just need a huuuuuge break from everything, from myself in a way.
My mother will help slightly, she is intending to buy a year's worth gym membership for me and herself which will help slightly for physical health and maybe mental too, I will try to go back to studies and have my medication stopped. I mean, I'll say it out loud even if most people don'T like these words, but ever since I've had medicine I've lost the will to live, even attempted suicide twice. Sure I might have some withdrawal effects and such for a while but I'l lget used to it and I,ll eventually become who I'm supposed to be, and not the quiet, stray-minded, unfocused lump of flesh that I am now. Heck, before the medicine, I even had the will to go out and walk around for no reason at all, even able to run, whist now... I'm jsut too much of a wreck to do anything worthwhile besides play video games on the computer.
It's just complicated to explain. I jsut need to step away from everything and see what I can change for the better, even if it means stopping some things. Who knows, I might have to stop drawing if I want to move fowards, I feel its a form of psychosis that I go through every time I try to draw something for myself or that is fictional. I jsut hate that feeling that the things I think of are real when they of course are not and never will be. It just drains my energy.
I will warn if anything happens, like if I decide to quit drawing and such. If I do, I will igve about a month's advice before I leave everything completely.
So until next time, this is Darv-- no never mind. I should quit naming myself that way. That's another thing that bothers me and that I feel is part of my mental illness; that part of me that wants to beleive that he's not human, that he'S something else, more. I used to be good wit h roleplaying and the likes and telling the real from what's not, even if I invested myself a lot in those fictional plays. Now, I jsut don'T even want to hear those words, because they bring back memories of a better past. But anyway.
I will keep you guys, those who are interested, updated on how I change if for the better. And speaking of updating, if anyone wants my contact info, should tell me. You have a much better chance of catching me on IM services such as Skype than on here.
Until next time, I'm Richard, wishing you a good day.
See you, maybe. <3
I don't know when, or if at all, that I will come back but for now I just need a huuuuuge break from everything, from myself in a way.
My mother will help slightly, she is intending to buy a year's worth gym membership for me and herself which will help slightly for physical health and maybe mental too, I will try to go back to studies and have my medication stopped. I mean, I'll say it out loud even if most people don'T like these words, but ever since I've had medicine I've lost the will to live, even attempted suicide twice. Sure I might have some withdrawal effects and such for a while but I'l lget used to it and I,ll eventually become who I'm supposed to be, and not the quiet, stray-minded, unfocused lump of flesh that I am now. Heck, before the medicine, I even had the will to go out and walk around for no reason at all, even able to run, whist now... I'm jsut too much of a wreck to do anything worthwhile besides play video games on the computer.
It's just complicated to explain. I jsut need to step away from everything and see what I can change for the better, even if it means stopping some things. Who knows, I might have to stop drawing if I want to move fowards, I feel its a form of psychosis that I go through every time I try to draw something for myself or that is fictional. I jsut hate that feeling that the things I think of are real when they of course are not and never will be. It just drains my energy.
I will warn if anything happens, like if I decide to quit drawing and such. If I do, I will igve about a month's advice before I leave everything completely.
So until next time, this is Darv-- no never mind. I should quit naming myself that way. That's another thing that bothers me and that I feel is part of my mental illness; that part of me that wants to beleive that he's not human, that he'S something else, more. I used to be good wit h roleplaying and the likes and telling the real from what's not, even if I invested myself a lot in those fictional plays. Now, I jsut don'T even want to hear those words, because they bring back memories of a better past. But anyway.
I will keep you guys, those who are interested, updated on how I change if for the better. And speaking of updating, if anyone wants my contact info, should tell me. You have a much better chance of catching me on IM services such as Skype than on here.
Until next time, I'm Richard, wishing you a good day.
See you, maybe. <3
