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This sucks
12 years ago
General
Ok. I want to rant. I promise myself to stop being so negative in journals, but I am just so strung out right now.
I want to know how you are supposed to make friends in the fandom when everyone is built into these tightly knit social factions and NONE of them are accepting new members. I try my goddamn best to be friendly. I talk to people I haven't met yet and I try to be engaging and listen well. I am terribly shy, but I think I am pretty good at not ACTING shy. It is just a matter of overcoming anxieties. But as much as people appear to enjoy my presence, I NEVER seem to get a second thought from anyone. I am just some nice guy who exists, not someone to actual make welcome.
I am not saying I don't have friends. Of course I do, some very recent, and I am so thankful for them. Its just... it seems like everyone else has more than a few individual friends. It seems like they are part of something, and I wish I could feel the same way so badly.
I especially wish I had some I could meet in person every once in a while. I keep hearing stories of how "me and my local furry friends did this," or "my local furries have a long running game of D&D" or "it's great when my 'pack' does..." etc. I've gotten more and more bitter and jealous when I hear that. I feel like I can't deal with the iscolation out here for too mucn longer. Its already given me lots of bad habbits. I just don't know what to do.
Apparently not even going to local furry meetups helps that much, because many of the people I hear from say they and their "pack" avoid meetups at all costs...
Basically it comes to this: how the fuck are you supposed to make friends when no one is looking for any more friends?
Sorry... written in the heat of the moment... but I don't think I'll be able to sleep until I have this off of my chest and out in the open.
I want to know how you are supposed to make friends in the fandom when everyone is built into these tightly knit social factions and NONE of them are accepting new members. I try my goddamn best to be friendly. I talk to people I haven't met yet and I try to be engaging and listen well. I am terribly shy, but I think I am pretty good at not ACTING shy. It is just a matter of overcoming anxieties. But as much as people appear to enjoy my presence, I NEVER seem to get a second thought from anyone. I am just some nice guy who exists, not someone to actual make welcome.
I am not saying I don't have friends. Of course I do, some very recent, and I am so thankful for them. Its just... it seems like everyone else has more than a few individual friends. It seems like they are part of something, and I wish I could feel the same way so badly.
I especially wish I had some I could meet in person every once in a while. I keep hearing stories of how "me and my local furry friends did this," or "my local furries have a long running game of D&D" or "it's great when my 'pack' does..." etc. I've gotten more and more bitter and jealous when I hear that. I feel like I can't deal with the iscolation out here for too mucn longer. Its already given me lots of bad habbits. I just don't know what to do.
Apparently not even going to local furry meetups helps that much, because many of the people I hear from say they and their "pack" avoid meetups at all costs...
Basically it comes to this: how the fuck are you supposed to make friends when no one is looking for any more friends?
Sorry... written in the heat of the moment... but I don't think I'll be able to sleep until I have this off of my chest and out in the open.
Thats what I did with the Maryland furs and now I am a friend with the guy who runs the group. If you want, I could message him for you to contact you about it.
With meets it seems like the best way to make yourself a part of the group is to be attentive and if the discussion turns to something you can contribute to you add yourself to the conversation anf become a part of it.
I am pretty sure I have you on Skype, you just have to let me know to get on sometimes. :3
No idea, as I've heard this complaint several times and not heard of much resolution. I've not been big on the idea of going to meets, but the one other fur I keep in contact with had gone for like a year or two, and haunted several chat channels, and yet made zero connections. He didn't seem to have any issues with making connections with coworkers, but otherwise nothing to be found in the furry meets and kind of drifted away from the fandom as a result. And he mentioned several other cases of it seeming to happen, as there were a few complaints of people driving long distances to go to interesting meets, and despite efforts to be out going, they ended up quickly isolated and left the meets after a couple hours without anyone noticing or remembering they were there.
I still have a hard time getting to know folks. Making friends is even more difficult. All I can do is keep plugging away and hope for the best.