I realized today, whilst browsing the internet, that animals are a huge barrier between myself and whatever negativity I'm dealing with. And I think that's not only innate in a lot of people but it's been a concept in my life since I was little because I obviously had a draw to animals at a young age. I think most kids do but kind of grow out of it. I just get super emotional sometimes when I interact with animal that it makes me self-concious and I really wish that wasn't the case, but I think I'm getting away from that because I'm pretty damn glad I can get so much enjoyment out of animals versus other things, like material objects. My boas make me so much happier than many other things I own, and they don't even give a shit.

I think this is also why a career with animals was always so prominent throughout my lifetime. I had momentary hobbies that were distracting, but it always, always came back to something with animals. I think because I NEED it. It's not just something I enjoy doing, it's something I need to stay centered. And I'm really glad that I came to that conclusion when I was younger because I know quite a few people that aren't sure what to do even when they've graduated with a degree they think they want, or when they've solidified a position in a career path they thought they'd enjoy. There's nothing wrong with that, I'm just glad it's one less thing I have to worry about considering I worry about everything.

And it's never been like "people are stupid, animals get me!" it's more like a genuine admiration for things that have developed in specific habitats that project incredibly diverse adaptations and behaviors. I think people either ignore or are totally unaware of any admiration they have for animals. It's more of a pure feeling than a thought. Plus animals are just fucking cool and spending my life doing anything else would be nowhere near as satisfying.

I was really going somewhere with this post but a reptile group on Facebook distracted me and now I just want to look at snakes.