After much thinking and based upon recent events that have occurred recently, I have come to the realization that I am simply not deserving of a life, perfect or imperfect. I do not deserve to be happy. I do not deserve the friends I have. I do not deserve to have someone love me and to love someone with all my heart. (If I could find it right now). I might deserve to survive long enough to be a victim of some natural disaster, or some disease that will eventually kill me.

I base this on the many decisions I have made in my life, some good and some bad. The ones that I failed on just seem to snowball out of control. My current frame of mind is slightly inebriated, emotionally and physically exhausted. I just simply am too tired to go on. I want to be free of all of this. All of the bullshit, all of the pain, and to be free of life itself.

Challenge me. Give me a reason. I dare you.