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Doubt you guys will read this.
12 years ago
So yeah, a journal.
Noone reads these anyway, So I guess I can talk here. Been feeling pretty crappy lately. The usual, Illness, Broken boiler, leaking radiators, Bills etc. I'm sure everyone has heard it all before.
I just feel like other than a few people I see, I'm avoiding talking to people. At work, I'm always the guy everyone comes to for advice and it happens a lot here, and while I like helping, it gets me down when I have someone pretty much crying when talking to me. I feel rather useless when I can't do anything.
Its not just one person, its a heck of a lot, and it hurts when it feels like all people see me as is just a walking doormat here to serve their needs and fix all their problems. I'm sorry, but I would like to talk to someone as a normal person/fur at least once every now and again. Stop using me.
The problem is If I can't help a friend, then what good am I? In fact, I feel like I'm barely a friend anymore. I let them down when they need me and my response is to avoid them? That's a pretty shitty thing to do.
The worst part of talking to people is the loss of trust I feel when the first thing to come out of their mouth is *omg I want to do XXX to you whilst you *£%$ my $^£%"& *. I didn't become a furry for insta sex. In fact, the very idea appals me, as I had a very bad situation IRL that has put me off.
Anyway, my wall of boring junk is over. I'm gonna go do... something.
I'm sorry am not online much either. Am always thinking how you are when I do get on.
Sadly skype wont install for a month now. ;w;
When i give advice out, thats it end of story. Its my opinion and they asked for it.
Its a survival instinct that kicked in when i had problems and the people who ask for my advice weren't interested in helping.
Thanks for the advice though bud. *hugs*
i really think yer a nice guy
You got a similar feeling i used to have before I started sinking into silence.
I hope I am not one of the reasons you are feeling down
After all, there once was a day when I used to be like you plenty of love to give and so
but while feeling used and so, I lost a lot from myself
and ended like this...
At least there are many who support you <3
You are loved and admired by many.
I wish the best for you always,*hugs softly*
You have more people than you think hoping the best for you, you just need to be willing to see them. *returns the hug*
The only problem is that I always I looked for them, I always felt the opposite, something which made me too sad until i decided to stop looking for peeople latewly, and just to stay in silence til someone really needs me around
on the thing with furries and "yiffing" tell em to go away :3