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When do we Know?
12 years ago
when do we know when its time? when we've had enough? when do we decide this isn't worth fighting for? i find myself asking these questions alot lately and its so hard not to think about it anymore. i just want to be free... from everything. this life, this reality is so twisted, broken, corrupted its hard to find the bright side. its just keeps getting worse and reality keeps tightening the noose, choking what life we could of had. and yet the people don't care, like they want it, they are happy with it. and i can't figure out why. the human race is like a child, and sometimes i think it needs a hard slap on the ass. we are so infinitely small, young, and niave yet assume we are in control of everything including each other. we may wear the mask of maturity but we are far from anything near there. all i ever wanted was to make this place a world worth living and it seems like the world doesn't want it. its perfectly happy descending into the inevitable chaos its destined to head. i feel like i have no place here anymore and i fight everyday to figure it out why i am here, what that purpose is...... no one sees what i see (physically and figuratively) and it makes me feel that much more alone. i honestly don't know what to do anymore..... i just need to put my feelings to words..... not knowing what the concequences are; good or bad. i still feel this life is not worth living. i'm not going to do anything.... yet. but everyday is a struggle not to hurt myself, blade to wrist several times.....like i said i just feel the need to put my feelings out there though i know not eeryone who calls themselves my firends care (those who truly are know who they are as do i). but this is for me and i guess them. i just want to be free, fee from everything
Seeing things differently than others is a gift. That aspect alone can make a life priceless.
Though to add to that, @
There are so few people in the world who see the world as we do (compared to the total number of people), and luck would have it that we all tend to be vastly spread apart. When those few allies in the world have seemingly impassible distances apart from one another, it can make the world feel quite lonely, But where there is one, there will always be others.
You're not alone. Physically, maybe. But in this whole wide world of darkness that we live in, there are glimpses of light spread out all over. You're one such light, as am I, and many others that see things the way you do, and wish the world were a better place. I've come across more than my fair share of people like you in my life, but none of them were within arm's reach. There's just too much space and too many puppets between you and the next idealist over. But just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they don't exist.
-le hug-
Don't make me a sad panda.