i think i have begun shutting down emotionally.... had a few friends betray my feelings, trampled them or left the to rot. i feel mostly abandoned by people i once considered friends. without going into it i pretty much feel broken emotionally. i dont feel the same i used to, the whole experience has made me crystalline in my feelings or wanting to branch out and talk to people not that many try to do so in return these days XD. i doubt anyone reading this cares anymore, its been a long time since i have been relevant if ever. its sad how this community can be both savior and destroyer. can build you up and tear you down. then again we aren't the most emotionally stable people to begin with i understand that, i mean i am prime example number one.

long story short recent drama has changed how i interact with people now, i am way more weary of making personal connections lest my heart be ripped apart again. it will be harder to get me to open up or make personal connections, im saddened by these facts but idk how much more my heart can take friends waking at it like a pinata like it doesn't matter. i value the relationships i do have and if anything have become more protective of but new ones are going to be hard to forge....