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My life update
12 years ago
So my ex boyfriend, who claimed he just "didn't like sex" anymore and was sooo not cheating on me, who claimed he DIDN'T want to move to Portland and had left me to move to La, who claimed I still cared for me and wanted to be my friend posted a bunch of pictures of him and the girl he cheated on me with on Facebook today. They were, you guessed it, IN PORTLAND. It makes me ill to think that someone who I worshiped is really a selfish, lying, coward. But whatever. I'm starting to realize that I was constantly put in really unhealthy situations with him. For example, he liked to get me good and drunk at a bar then leave to "go to the bathroom" and really just ditch me across town in the middle of the night. Real nice. Then make me feel like it was my fault somehow. I'm actually pretty glad I'm out of that situation. Though I still do feel sick thinking about it all. I was blindly in love with him and being very used. I did everything for him while he made sure I felt like shit so I never tried to leave. Real nice.
Luckily for me I found a new cutie to hang around. Who knows where that will lead but I'm happier. Though this new fellow is making me really realize just how fucked my ex was. Like, when I was with my ex I'd have a panic attack and he'd YELL AT ME. Because, ya know, I'm doing it for attention or some shit. New fellow walked around town with me, talked about cute things, and rubbed my back until I felt better. GEE WIZ.
I've also been having panic attacks less. Like, a LOT less. I was feeling pretty horrible every day and now I only feel sick about twice a week. That's pretty good, comparatively.
Also, I told my ex I felt like killing myself and he yelled at me. "This shit is why I don't love you. And why no one will." That helped guy! Thanks! Sooo didn't want to die anymore. Real smart. Told the new guy and he cried. Not sobbed or anything, but felt genuinely sorry for me and offered to talk to me anytime. I honestly didn't even know people really cared. I feel like an idiot admitting that, but I didn't. So wack.
So even though I'm mad at my ex, things are looking up. Way WAY up. Yay! <3
Plus I got some finger tattoos today. <3
Luckily for me I found a new cutie to hang around. Who knows where that will lead but I'm happier. Though this new fellow is making me really realize just how fucked my ex was. Like, when I was with my ex I'd have a panic attack and he'd YELL AT ME. Because, ya know, I'm doing it for attention or some shit. New fellow walked around town with me, talked about cute things, and rubbed my back until I felt better. GEE WIZ.
I've also been having panic attacks less. Like, a LOT less. I was feeling pretty horrible every day and now I only feel sick about twice a week. That's pretty good, comparatively.
Also, I told my ex I felt like killing myself and he yelled at me. "This shit is why I don't love you. And why no one will." That helped guy! Thanks! Sooo didn't want to die anymore. Real smart. Told the new guy and he cried. Not sobbed or anything, but felt genuinely sorry for me and offered to talk to me anytime. I honestly didn't even know people really cared. I feel like an idiot admitting that, but I didn't. So wack.
So even though I'm mad at my ex, things are looking up. Way WAY up. Yay! <3
Plus I got some finger tattoos today. <3
Hopefully things get much better for you with him and I wish you best of luck.
And finger tattoos? I have never heard of that. What is it of?
Here is a pic of my tats. :D <3 http://24.media.tumblr.com/c5153b27.....0pqfo1_500.jpg
"Yummy, sexy, hairy man chest" smell.
Also, sweet tats! Get a dragon next :V heh...