Nngrflg.
19 years ago
I'm having disquieting thoughts. Or, no, more like disquieting emotions. I can't seem to focus on any one thing, so it all blends into a vague feeling of anxiety and discontent.
... HAHA! I just realized. In the past, I used to unload my problems on my characters. Raei, especially. I don't do that anymore. It doesn't even occur to me to try. I was never very good at character development, but my skill seems to be especially bad now. Are writers and artists schizophrenic? Do their characters take on a life of their own, living in some dark corner of the artist's mind? Maybe it's the medication I'm taking. My thoughts feel so dull. I probably should've mentioned that when I went for a checkup last Wednesday.
Do you confide in your characters? Do you think of them as real people? Do they sometimes talk back?
I like to think mine did at some point. But maybe that's just wishful thinking impeding on my memories. I'm honestly not sure now.
... HAHA! I just realized. In the past, I used to unload my problems on my characters. Raei, especially. I don't do that anymore. It doesn't even occur to me to try. I was never very good at character development, but my skill seems to be especially bad now. Are writers and artists schizophrenic? Do their characters take on a life of their own, living in some dark corner of the artist's mind? Maybe it's the medication I'm taking. My thoughts feel so dull. I probably should've mentioned that when I went for a checkup last Wednesday.
Do you confide in your characters? Do you think of them as real people? Do they sometimes talk back?
I like to think mine did at some point. But maybe that's just wishful thinking impeding on my memories. I'm honestly not sure now.
FA+

Since they're all basically parts of me and not totally different personalities, it's not really schizophrenia. So...yah. >_>
Also, I've been meaning to ask ... who drew your icon? I like it. Really smooth and loose.
I'm a little embarrassed to admit it but I have myself this body pillow and from time to time, I find I can get to sleep faster if I picture it as one of the characters I've created, usually Shayna, and curl up tight against it. I'll spend hours at a time just talking with myself as if they were really there just to better understand how to write about the character (I'm well aware that they are not real and are not listening...it's just an exercise that helps me get in the mode I need to really write well). It's kinda like roleplaying only I'm the only one there. What's really bad is when someone walks in on you while you're talking and you can't think of a good way to explain it and you just have to say "oh I was just playing around"
Yeah...I know...I'm a freak...
I desperately want/need to give some actual personality to my characters ... I might try the talking thing, if I can do it without anyone else here getting suspicious, haha.
but it's totally normal to reason with oneself
I used to use Rez as a net extension of myself, then I kinda lost the attachment to him, so now he's just a character I made rather than "my character". Using him for my silly experiments and such.
=_= They should run. Running...upsets me.
But recently I have had little to no time to draw, so..
But I'm one of those insane people who writes a ton of backstory for their chars and settings.
Kinda made me feel better about it when I read something about 'soul bonding.' So yeah. Heh.
The characters are all very different, and I've got an enormous cast of them. Put them in any given situation, and they'll all react very differently. Each has their own unique experiences and personalities. Some may be similar, but they're never exactly the same.
I think you're actually thinking of Multiple Personality Disorder...Schizophrenia is what you'd get if you could combine R.E.M. sleep with consciousness all the time. (You get a very jumbled, chaotic, nonsensical, reality and non-reality all mixed in one. You hear voices even if no one is there, but they seem real.) MPD is more spontaneous, with each personality operating independently of each other. There is no "unity of consciousness", as each personality can only remember their "own" actions, and a person may actually seem to suffer "lost time" because they cannot remember what their other personalities did.
So I'd have to say no, it's not NPD, and unless you're experiencing hallucinations, and actually hearing voices emanating from nowhere wherever you go, you're not schizo either. :)
My own characters don't actually act on their own volition, though a few have such developed personalities that I can imagine them strongly protesting being drawn a particular way. It's more of an "impression", a strong thought, than another personality trying to break through.
There are friends of mine who who also suffer Asperger's Syndrome, and their minds are highly active. They are true multitaskers.24/7, they watch their characters living out their daily lives, having conversations, dating, fighting, having sex, going to bed, going to work, whatever, and the person can't turn it off. If you ask them how a particular character is today, they could tell you in full detail.
For these people, it's not schizo and not MPD, and they have full control of their faculties. Instead, it's like a tiny universe was implanted into their brain. The downside is that because so much is going on inside their heads, they prefer as little external stimulation as possible (no music, for instance), or they get completely overwhelmed with information.
I think in determining whether or not something is "healthy", ask yourself if you can still perform your daily tasks without trouble. If you can, then you're fine. If your thoughts are impairing you, then maybe it's not healthy.
Hope this helps! :)
I confide in the voices in my head because no one else listens. :P
The more important thing here is that I hope you start feeling better soon. You're awesome, and I hope to see that trend continue.
That's the sign of a good writer/artist if they do so. It shows that they do have a life of their own and that's how great art is formed :^) Why don't you go ask your characters how they feel? I'm pretty sure they'll have their stories to tell n_n I'm serious too! X^D My best friend and I both did something like this and it turned out to be pretty helpful.
And this is something a lot of people worry about. But you know, you shouldn't, so much. It's just like anything else you do; if you let it control you, of course it's going to be bad for you. But just because you /can/ possibly fall off a ladder doesn't mean you should never use one.
All depends on how messed up my brain is at the time.
You! Feel better! Now!
Reality is also a terrible drug, so see if you can get off of that too.... that's what spawned my first round of multiple personalities. Lucky me I found "furry" and was able to personnify them.
.....and why is it everyone has the super-crazy one and the super-reasonable one? I mean even JTHM had that, didn't he?