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30 questions in 30 days
12 years ago
As I consider myself Transgender, and I want to raise awareness I thought I'd do my part and answer the 30 questions.
These are frank, and honestly answered, before you take offence consider how difficult it is to answer these.
1) When did you realize the term transgender referred to you
I realised what I was before I knew the term, I would say I was 8 or 9 when I became aware. I think I learned the word when I was about 14. suddenly everything just "clicked" and made sense.
2) How did you choose your name, and what names were you thinking about using and why
My female name (not Seilynn) was chosen by my mum, it was the name I was to be given if I had been born a girl.
Seilynn was chosen by a "Random Fantasy name generator" on line (kinda boring, sorry).
3) Have you ever been outed
yes, mum caught me in her clothes when I was like 12 years old. Not the most pleasant of situations and a very awkward conversation was had after.
4) How did your family take it when you came out/ if you are not out why aren't you
My mum was wonderful, she called the Beaumont society (this is in the days before the internet) after the above incident and had a long chat with them. My dad, well let's see we've not talked properly since.
5) Are you active in the trans community or LGBT community
I'm blessed with having many T friends and quite a few L, G and B friends. I support the community where and when I can, but I wouldn't call myself "active"
6) Who was the first person you told about being trans
My mum, after the above incident when I was 12, though I didn't describe myself as trans (I had no idea the word existed), just said that I wanted to be a girl.
7) Who do you look up to
Many many people, fa too many to list here. But my mum would be one, My wife and my close friends. All for very different reasons.
8) How do you deal with being read mis-genderd in the beginning of transitioning by people?
I'm not transitioning, however, being called "he" or "sir" when in a dress is more painful than I have words to describe. It's like having reach in inside you, grab your heart in a tight fist, rip it out of your chest and stomp on it on the floor in front of an audience. It is probably one of the most demeaning and uncomfortable things anyone could do.
9) What is something positive about being trans
I love shopping :)
No seriously (though I do love shopping) it gives me an insight into the 'fairer' sex, I'm more in touch with my feminine side than 99% of "blokes" and I can usually tell when someone needs a hug or just a hand to hold.
10) What are some of your fears in regards to being trans
the current world isn't ready for it yet, something like 1 in every 3 trans people will be killed because they are being themselves (trans). 1 in 12 will be beaten up (severely) for being themselves (trans).
I can't live in fear of that, so I hide myself and stay in this 'male' body to avoid the pain.
11) How do you manage dysphoria
tough question, sometimes I go out in a dress, sometimes I go shopping online for dresses/shoes, sometimes I'll go for a mooch around the local shops for clothes... sometimes, I can't manage it and I stay at home, hide and cry.
12) What are you doing to stay healthy for transitioning mentally and physically
as before, I'm not transitioning, along with the reasons identified in question 10 right now in my life, this just isn't possible.
13) Bathrooms
yes, I use them... honestly what a daft question....
when in "male mode" I use the mens, though always the cubicals
when in "female mode" I use the ladies.
BTW guys, try and lift the seat if you can't aim! and put it down after you're done please :)
14) What are some of your passing tips or things you do to pass
I'm not sure I "pass" but tips for being feminine include relaxing and accepting yourself, practising walking (something I've forgotten and I'm working on again) and get some hip padding. One of the things that makes a woman and man most different is the body shape. Men have shoulders wider than their hips, women the reverse. no matter how good your make up, dress, walk and voice, if you have the wrong body shape peoples mental 'alarms' will start ringing and they will look more closely.
Of course, if you're on hormones then that'll be fixed for you in time :)
15) How have you embraced your trans identity
after 30+ years I've finally mostly accepted that side of myself. It's not been an easy journey and I'm still not 100% there.
16) What's your rock anthem and why
"Ghosts" by Japan, sums up my life perfectly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zzLU1ato2w
17) What's your binding choice and why
my "shapewear" consists of a corset for my waist, bikini bottoms for my "lower" region coupled with hip padding and of course the obvious silicon padding for the upper area.
18) How do you feel about the trans laws where you live
Laws don't change peoples attitude, people do.
the laws here are ok, but it doesn't stop the abuse, violence, hate or fear.
19) If your religious how do your views effect being trans if your not religious what about your family religions
I'm not religious in anyway shape or form, though I respect those who are.
20) Do you want to be a parent why or why not
no, if I can't deal with this fully it would be unfair to expect a child of mine to.
Caveat: if I had been born female I would have loved to have a child.
21) Your views on the cis-gendered community
on the whole a nice bunch of people, for a large they will stop and ask, even if they don't always understand how awkward or uncomfortable their questions are.
22) Do you feel being trans holds you back from your career choice
no. not in anyway shape or form.
That said, being a 'man' has clear advantages in the employment world, and yes I know it shouldn't, but it still does.
23) What stereotypes are put on trans people
"Priscilla" springs to mind, that and that I do this because I want to be with a man. My gender, my sex and my sexual preference are three different aspects and don't necessarily align with the "typical" values of the majority of the world.
24) Who is your favorite LGBT actor/musician/director/artist etc and why
I don't discriminate, or favour, someone who's LGBT over someone who's not, we're all people.
And for the record I think that was a terrible question to ask.
25) Doctor visits
my doctor knows, I've never been as my female self.
26) Do you feel comfortable answering questions about being trans if say your teacher/friend/stranger asked you
to an extent, though when people start asking about your 'thing' I find it difficult and if I find it really difficult I'll start asking them about theirs. It's a personal aspect, a part of myself I am not comfortable with.
That said, I try my best, because the way to change the attitude of people is to educate them!
27) What goals do you have
a simple one, to be happy.
28) What is something you have to do everyday or else you feel like your whole day is off if you don't do it
pluck my eyebrows and brush my hair.
29) Write out something positive about yourself using the letters of your name. Ex. Your name is Bob so B-Beautiful O-Outstanding B-Boy
Strong willed
Excitable
Intense at times
Loving
Yearning
Nurturing
Normal
30) Write a haiku about being trans
Awakening in Pain
A Struggle
constant Fear
mis-understood
A need to hold
to be held
Alone
These are frank, and honestly answered, before you take offence consider how difficult it is to answer these.
1) When did you realize the term transgender referred to you
I realised what I was before I knew the term, I would say I was 8 or 9 when I became aware. I think I learned the word when I was about 14. suddenly everything just "clicked" and made sense.
2) How did you choose your name, and what names were you thinking about using and why
My female name (not Seilynn) was chosen by my mum, it was the name I was to be given if I had been born a girl.
Seilynn was chosen by a "Random Fantasy name generator" on line (kinda boring, sorry).
3) Have you ever been outed
yes, mum caught me in her clothes when I was like 12 years old. Not the most pleasant of situations and a very awkward conversation was had after.
4) How did your family take it when you came out/ if you are not out why aren't you
My mum was wonderful, she called the Beaumont society (this is in the days before the internet) after the above incident and had a long chat with them. My dad, well let's see we've not talked properly since.
5) Are you active in the trans community or LGBT community
I'm blessed with having many T friends and quite a few L, G and B friends. I support the community where and when I can, but I wouldn't call myself "active"
6) Who was the first person you told about being trans
My mum, after the above incident when I was 12, though I didn't describe myself as trans (I had no idea the word existed), just said that I wanted to be a girl.
7) Who do you look up to
Many many people, fa too many to list here. But my mum would be one, My wife and my close friends. All for very different reasons.
8) How do you deal with being read mis-genderd in the beginning of transitioning by people?
I'm not transitioning, however, being called "he" or "sir" when in a dress is more painful than I have words to describe. It's like having reach in inside you, grab your heart in a tight fist, rip it out of your chest and stomp on it on the floor in front of an audience. It is probably one of the most demeaning and uncomfortable things anyone could do.
9) What is something positive about being trans
I love shopping :)
No seriously (though I do love shopping) it gives me an insight into the 'fairer' sex, I'm more in touch with my feminine side than 99% of "blokes" and I can usually tell when someone needs a hug or just a hand to hold.
10) What are some of your fears in regards to being trans
the current world isn't ready for it yet, something like 1 in every 3 trans people will be killed because they are being themselves (trans). 1 in 12 will be beaten up (severely) for being themselves (trans).
I can't live in fear of that, so I hide myself and stay in this 'male' body to avoid the pain.
11) How do you manage dysphoria
tough question, sometimes I go out in a dress, sometimes I go shopping online for dresses/shoes, sometimes I'll go for a mooch around the local shops for clothes... sometimes, I can't manage it and I stay at home, hide and cry.
12) What are you doing to stay healthy for transitioning mentally and physically
as before, I'm not transitioning, along with the reasons identified in question 10 right now in my life, this just isn't possible.
13) Bathrooms
yes, I use them... honestly what a daft question....
when in "male mode" I use the mens, though always the cubicals
when in "female mode" I use the ladies.
BTW guys, try and lift the seat if you can't aim! and put it down after you're done please :)
14) What are some of your passing tips or things you do to pass
I'm not sure I "pass" but tips for being feminine include relaxing and accepting yourself, practising walking (something I've forgotten and I'm working on again) and get some hip padding. One of the things that makes a woman and man most different is the body shape. Men have shoulders wider than their hips, women the reverse. no matter how good your make up, dress, walk and voice, if you have the wrong body shape peoples mental 'alarms' will start ringing and they will look more closely.
Of course, if you're on hormones then that'll be fixed for you in time :)
15) How have you embraced your trans identity
after 30+ years I've finally mostly accepted that side of myself. It's not been an easy journey and I'm still not 100% there.
16) What's your rock anthem and why
"Ghosts" by Japan, sums up my life perfectly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zzLU1ato2w
17) What's your binding choice and why
my "shapewear" consists of a corset for my waist, bikini bottoms for my "lower" region coupled with hip padding and of course the obvious silicon padding for the upper area.
18) How do you feel about the trans laws where you live
Laws don't change peoples attitude, people do.
the laws here are ok, but it doesn't stop the abuse, violence, hate or fear.
19) If your religious how do your views effect being trans if your not religious what about your family religions
I'm not religious in anyway shape or form, though I respect those who are.
20) Do you want to be a parent why or why not
no, if I can't deal with this fully it would be unfair to expect a child of mine to.
Caveat: if I had been born female I would have loved to have a child.
21) Your views on the cis-gendered community
on the whole a nice bunch of people, for a large they will stop and ask, even if they don't always understand how awkward or uncomfortable their questions are.
22) Do you feel being trans holds you back from your career choice
no. not in anyway shape or form.
That said, being a 'man' has clear advantages in the employment world, and yes I know it shouldn't, but it still does.
23) What stereotypes are put on trans people
"Priscilla" springs to mind, that and that I do this because I want to be with a man. My gender, my sex and my sexual preference are three different aspects and don't necessarily align with the "typical" values of the majority of the world.
24) Who is your favorite LGBT actor/musician/director/artist etc and why
I don't discriminate, or favour, someone who's LGBT over someone who's not, we're all people.
And for the record I think that was a terrible question to ask.
25) Doctor visits
my doctor knows, I've never been as my female self.
26) Do you feel comfortable answering questions about being trans if say your teacher/friend/stranger asked you
to an extent, though when people start asking about your 'thing' I find it difficult and if I find it really difficult I'll start asking them about theirs. It's a personal aspect, a part of myself I am not comfortable with.
That said, I try my best, because the way to change the attitude of people is to educate them!
27) What goals do you have
a simple one, to be happy.
28) What is something you have to do everyday or else you feel like your whole day is off if you don't do it
pluck my eyebrows and brush my hair.
29) Write out something positive about yourself using the letters of your name. Ex. Your name is Bob so B-Beautiful O-Outstanding B-Boy
Strong willed
Excitable
Intense at times
Loving
Yearning
Nurturing
Normal
30) Write a haiku about being trans
Awakening in Pain
A Struggle
constant Fear
mis-understood
A need to hold
to be held
Alone
