Trying to find balance is usually easy for me to do. I can usually brush off my problems so easily that I enjoy helping people with the problems they have as well. The passed few days however, I don't know how to explain it, a lot of things happened the passed few days that were just stressful.

It will be alright though, I don't want anyone to feel as though I'm looking for pity or attention. Though I welcome your comfort and support. I just felt so heavy today from the sum of it all that I wanted to announce it hoping to relieve a little stress. It has been slowing my art a bit so I need to get it off my chest and acquire balance in body as well as soul. Its not the fact that nothing good has happened these passed few weeks, good things have happened and I've had some fun. I think its more of the matter that I try to give so much, I try to help so many, but I don't always get thanks for it, I don't always get people asking me, "Hey LEO how do you feel?' I don't have many people who'll put their life aside to try and give me the same compassion. However if I wean them from my attention even in the slightest I see the big difference it makes.

If I turned my back for a day, sure their world would go on, but I know that things I've worked so hard to help them with would come crashing down, because often times I hold things together and to let go would mean the eminent collapse of it. Sometimes I see myself as a leader figure even though I try not to present myself as a leader as more so of a guide or a mentor.

So few ever seem to even remotely attempt to recognize the effort I put towards what I do, so few ever say "Hey LEO did this for us."

I guess I just want someone to stand up for me from time to time, maybe I just want someone who'll say "look here LEO has done nothing but try to help as many people as he can, I am lucky to call him a friend."

I guess there's a lot of things that I want. I'm probably not really making as much sense right now as I should as I am literally following my thoughts on this journal. Quite seriously though. I just want somebody to stand up for my feelings once in a while at least. As a mentor or leader I have to negate my own emotions from the picture since I'm not representing myself, I'm representing others. Never the less, I love what I do even if its stressful at times, and LEO needs a hug when there are no hugs to be had, and I wont stop doing it no matter what.