For almost all of my life, Thanksgiving and Christmas were my favorite times of year. I mean besides the food and the presents. It was the time with family. I grew up Roman Catholic, so on my dad's side of the family was quite large. He was one of five children, so there's a lot of cousins, nieces, nephews, and what not. Several years, we would travel from Virginia to upstate New York to visit with my grandmother for Christmas. The day after Christmas, sometimes called Boxing Day would be spent with my dad's side of the family. One of my relatives, who had a huge old house in town, would have this massive spread of food and drink. We would eat, drink, and just hang out spending time with family.

Fast forward to now. Since about the mid 90s, I've lost my great grandmother on mom's side around Thanksgiving, my dad's sister (whom I was very close with) the day after Christmas, and my mom's youngest sister (whom I had started reconnecting with) a few days after Christmas. Right when my Aunt on mom's side started going downhill, is when my mom stopped seeing me for Christmas. She would travel to Florida to go see her other sister, leaving me and my mate alone. Last Christmas, my mate decided we would go visit with his family, which I really did enjoy. This year, if you've been paying attention, he's not with me, so for the first time in my life, I will be without family for Christmas.

The holiday season is about joy and coming together as family and for this season, this year, the bear has nothing. Why should I be joyful when there is nothing in my life right now that brings me joy? It's just another day as far as I'm concerned. Maybe I'll just hibernate. Someone wake me for New Year's Eve, ok?